It is notable that the American anime-tinted femdom vogue quickly skipped past tsundere and even yandere to “this girl is, by nature, a predator of you”
For real though, it wouldn’t come to that. Like, okay she might be a master manipulator supervillain who’s trying to dominate all of humanity and subjugate it to her ego, and she might pretty openly be a black widow who only takes mates for the purpose of draining their life energy, and honestly when she’s not being styled by the best artists in the world she’s a pretty unremarkable not-fat 29 year old white girl, but Taylor Swift could absolutely get it.
…which seems like another layer of the work she’s running, too, that it doesn’t matter whether you see what’s happening.
Like, obviously the baseline pitch for going into a doomed relationship is “a fling with me is better than a healthy relationship with somebody else”. Hence relationship sabotage as a thing to brag about, hence songs about being the ex who tarnishes all your future relationships. But that’s nothing new or Swift-exclusive. Break Up With Your Girlfriend is an overt, chart-topping expression of the same idea, but we’re not talking about Empress Ariana here. Why? Well, Ariana’s pitch is essentially “I’m hot and you should take whatever I offer”. Put it next to ‘thank u next’ with all her famous exes, and it’s pretty clear that things won’t last, and it’s because she doesn’t think you’re good enough.
Taylor Swift, though… Like you said, what’s striking is that the thing portrayed in her music isn’t “being with Taylor Swift” but “being with a character played by Taylor Swift”. The changeable identity is part of the package, the fantasy is quite explicitly to have one of the world’s most talented actresses play your personal dream girl for a while. Which is obviously a popular song topic in its own right, but it also helps sell the rest of the story. The relationship won’t last, but that’s not a measure of you, that’s just how Taylor Swift’s relationships always go. In fact, it’s how they inevitably have to go, because your dream girl’s identity probably isn’t even coherent, much less sustainable.
Even the black widow thing becomes a selling point. Seeking out someone so desperate for validation that she’ll mold herself into your fantasy would be fucked up, but this doesn’t count because she’s using you! Sure, she’s going to trash you on her next album, but that’s just going to get you sympathy. I’ve heard plenty of people talk about the “poor guys” she dated, but they’re talking about Calvin Harris, John Mayer, and a Kennedy. It doesn’t matter whether you smarten up and realize you’re being used, because you’re going to come out ahead anyway.
People say the best magicians can make a trick look real even after they explain how it’s done. Well, Taylor Swift wrote Blank Space, then kept up the persona even with an analysis of it sitting at the top of the charts. And of course, there’s no bottom to the metatextual stuff, it just oscillates between sincere and ironic, the same way Blank Space knocked down Shake It Off. Here she is talking about the song:
Is that you, Ozy? That’s Empress Taylor Swift. Enjoy!
That is not my approach to relationships. But is it cool to write the narrative of a girl who’s crazy but seductive but glamorous but nuts but manipulative? That was the character I felt the media had written for me, and for a long time I felt hurt by it. I took it personally. But as time went by, I realized it was kind of hilarious…
So I created this whole character and I had fun doing it. Half the people got the joke, half the people thought I was really owning the fact that I’m a psychopath. Either one’s fine. It was #1 for eight or nine weeks, so I have no complaints.
It’s all a bit, she’s not really like that. Except she really will dump you, then write a #1 song about it. But that’ll be a bit too, even while she really does it, because you knew it was coming. And she’ll write a #1 song about that too.
So it’s gonna be forever
Or it’s gonna go down in flames
You can tell me when it’s over
If the high was worth the pain
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They’ll tell you I’m insane
‘Cause you know I love the players
And you love the game
Maybe that’s the missing Fdom dynamic that balances the world.
Though from experience, no, the fantasy, when you’re engaging at that level, is that you could be the one that breaks through and is able to hold your own with her. It could be the “forever” option.
This is, remember, how Nick finally “wins” over Amy in Gone Girl