teratocybernetics:

I’m fucking wheezing

3000s:

3000s:

target.com is a human being

smiling wide and clapping my hands

shinelikethunder:

writingtoolofdubiousintegrity:

changes:

Friday, April 15th, 2022

🌟 New

• The 250 posts per day count is now actually only counting published posts. This means that queued posts and drafts won’t count towards the daily post limit. (There is still a 1,000 queued post per blog limit.)
• Blog descriptions are now limited to 2,000 characters. We implemented this limit to fix several crashes that could occur when viewing blogs with very long descriptions.
• Trending tag pages on web will now default to Top, even if you follow that tag. Tags you follow that are not trending will still default to Recent.
• We’re rolling out a new feature called Tumblr Blaze! It’s a way to promote your own posts (they’ll show up to others as sponsored posts). Check out this announcement for more info.

🛠 Fixed

• Fixed an issue that was causing you to see recommended posts you’ve already seen.
• The emojis are back in the dashboard tabs in the Android app. They’ll be back in the iOS app soon!
• Fixed an issue in the beta post editor on web that could cause the block inserter icons to jump around within the post form.
• Fixed an issue in the beta post editor that would cause the editor to crash when uploading a large media file.
• Version 24.1 of the iOS app fixes an issue where tapping the fast queue icon on a post would open the post form to “Reblog” instead of “Queue.”

🚧 Ongoing

• Version 24.1 of the iOS app introduced a bug that causes tag carousel items to be stacked on top of each other. This means that those carousels might look kind of empty. We’re working on a fix 👍️

🌱 Upcoming

• Nothing to share today.

Experiencing an issue? File a Support Request and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can!

Want to share your feedback about something? Check out our Work in Progress blog and start a discussion with the community.

ngl i would pay tumblr 10 bucks to rickroll 2500 people

glad everyone agrees that we, as a userbase, are going to be extremely normal about Tumblr Blaze and will definitely use it like mature and well-adjusted adults

audhdspacewizard:

thickness-protection-program:

Facebook drama: I will not be going to Uncle Todd’s dinner tonight because he keeps saying racist stuff ♥️

Twitter drama: I cannot BELIEVE she said a slur 7 years ago. #canceled

TikTok drama: Is Chad Chaddington III ch3ating on Ash-Lindseigh????

Tumblr drama: *unintelligible paragraphs between coochiemonsterfromsesassmestreet and destielsfavoritepony37 (who apparently owns an illegal baby racing company)*

Is kinda funny the whole time I was like “oh Portland’s not the hot place now what’s the late ‘10s hot plaaaace I don’t wanna miss out!” the answer was like, [tumblr]

Got ad-free browsing and after enough time scrolling the dash you do kind of notice the difference in vibe

authorofemotion:

everyone talks about how tumblr should make an @everyone feature, but I have another proposal: an @anyone feature. this tags a few users at random and there’s no way of predicting who it will be. this will also solve nothing and make everything worse

dovewithscales:

thescaredfluid:

memory–box:

thetum-blrdictionary-deactivated:

feyariel:

memory–box:

to anyone who missed it:

blorbo - a favourite character

glup shitto - star wars names are fucking nonesense

eeby deeby - youre going to hell

plinko horse - a horse that was stuck in a plinko board

scrimblo bimblo - super smash bro fans can be very angry when characters aren’t in a game

Me, so I can view the original meme:

bonus:

People keep tagging this as educational and I don’t know what to do or think about that.

Glossary of Terms

I don’t know if I should be amused or distressed by the realization that someday this post will probably be useful to linguists.

tmmyhug:

nothing compares to the calendar on this site. flat fuck friday. the halloween post that always shows up mid july. you see four anime girls and immediately know what day of the week it is. on the ides of march we all wake up and clown on some guy who got stabbed two thousand years ago. last week we celebrated down with cis day. I can’t wait for ever given and nov 5th anniversary memes. anyways have a lovely neil banging out the tunes day

This is unironically a tribute to the utility of enchanting the cycle of seasons with a calendar of annual holidays as a culture-consolidating force

lifeattomsdiner:

So a lot of people have been talking about how Tumblr’s pre-engagement algorithm structure makes it a much more pleasant experience for the user, and I think there’s something to that, but I also don’t think we can understate the effect of most of the site’s most insufferable users self-selecting out in favor of sites where you can actually gain social clout over the last few years

Oh yeah when I first came here there was a lot more effort to make it the Twitter-upgrade Main Interface for brands & celebrities, and the writers who came through post-Gawker, pre-clickbait blogging as it expanded through feminism to other identity used it to do heavy Discourse and cliquefighting as editorial brands were eclipsed… it was a scene.

leviathan-supersystem:

people on tumblr are starting to develop a 4chan-esque internet tough guy complex about posting here, which is very funny given that this is the smol bean superwholock feels website

subrosadraco:

samephonewhothis:

lythelia-art:

everentropy:

whiskeywhitemage:

dynamitebnha:

samephonewhothis:

dynamitebnha:

samephonewhothis:

datcravat:

thyrell:

eightplustwelveistwenty:

berserchiken:

mokujo:

thebuttkingpost-deactivated2021:

You know how piss became a meme then a bunch of memers turned out to be into piss

Then vore became a meme and then a bunch of memers turned out to be into vore

I’m just saying, every time one of yall jokes about cock and ball torture I’m lookin at you like this

hey wait a minute

this post is great i feel like im watching a barfight from across the room

don’t pretend you’re safe over there mother fucker

There is no other site that gives you content like this

You have an entire tag called #men get pegged

Alright bara tiddies

FUCK

let he who is without fetish cast the first stone

This is one of the posts that lost Verizon billions

I’M WHEEZING

THEY FUCKING OBLITERATED THIS POST WTF

siikr:

So I’m alive again! Yay!

I have so many new features!!

And some of them even work!!!

• You can now search with tags.
• The INSTANT I find them, you will know it. And you will be able to use them.
• You can now use google-like search queries 
• ”wrap things in quotes” for phrase search
• OR use logical operators to make me do math AND I hate you so much.
• Subtract those pesky unwanted results with the (-) operator.  
• Other things in that general domain.
• You no longer have to remember ridiculous URL codes. I will automatically update the url bar for you anytime you do something.
• Remember that thing you used to do where you would delete a post while I was still in the middle of indexing your blog and I’d get really mad and refuse to ever index your blog ever again? It’s funny to me now. You can do it all you want.
• Inline previews no longer work, but – I’ll get to it. 
  
• The Privacy Options button is now purely decorative.
  
• I have given up on trying to steal tumblr’s url. Dealing CORS policies makes a lot of the really cool features I want to have next to impossible.
• I’m kidding I’m totally going to steal tumblr’s url again in a few days. Teehee.  

Anyway, please forward any problems to this guy.

intertexturality:

u know what i’ll give it to them this one shows intimate knowledge of their user base

tips:

A MESSAGE FROM THE PRINCIPAL

Dear Reblogs,

Welcome to Hellsite High. As your principal, I’m excited to share my tips on navigating this wonderful hellsite we call Tumblr.

There’s something here for everyone. For new students, I suggest you check out tips on getting started and exploration. For returning students, see my tips on creating content and getting noticed.

We recommend you continue your education by checking out some of these in depth resources.

• Watch out for Pro Tips which are a collection of Hellsite High tips for advanced users.
• Hellsite High Glossary offers definitions for common Tumblr terms.
• Help Center offers website updates and technical troubleshooting support.

I look forward to seeing your success. ✨

Once a reblog, always a reblog!

Cat Frazier
Creator of Animated Text

Official tumblr communications starting to sound like this resembles the process where as feudal aristocracy started to see challenge from nationalism once culturally foreign nobility began to adopt local cultures and languages. In this essay I will

toothlesshat:

Live slug reaction and it’s me boy I’m the ps5 are so fucking funny because they became tumblr favorites in literal hours and the posts hadn’t even gotten to every blog yet imagine going to sleep thinking you’re used to tumblr’s bullshit then waking up to everyone slapping some nasty ass slug on pictures of gay people like ok guess we’re doing this now

professional-chaotic-dumbass:

popsunner:

popsunner:

I love going viral on tumblr.com. It’s like if you stood in a field and said some of the stupidest shit a human being is capable of and then like fifty thousand crows attacked you

Don’t do this to me

my brother in christ you made the post

tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva:

hildagoneril:

punny-trash:

eyeseyesbaby:

kr1g:

wonni:

@sapphicspritzee look tiktok stole the post you made like 7 years ago

im fucking losing it lads

etirabys:

staff:

This is 100% new and 100% Tumblr with 0% ads.

If you love ads, then this post is not for you. If you love Tumblr but hate ads and want the one to continue without having to endure the other, then this post is literally for you. Hello, you.

As of today, you can set up ad-free browsing on your personal desktop computer, from anywhere in the world, and then enjoy the same effervescent Tumblr you know and love (yes, including mobile) without the interruption of ads. Scroll away.

Some caveats:

• It’s $4.99 for a month of pure, unadulterated nonsense.
• If you like a discount, you can get 33% off (that’s four months for free) at $39.99 for a whole year. Imagine.
• This is opt-in. You don’t have to do this. We won’t make you.

How do you opt in?

Easy! Just go to your Account Settings on desktop and hit “Go Ad-Free.” From there, you can choose to pay monthly or yearly:

And that’s it! You’ll be able to enjoy your favorite blogs and posts without any pesky ads getting in the way.

That’s all for now, Tumblr. Back to your blorbos.

I browsed the notes for this a bit and saw many people tag-commentating that they’d never pay for this since it is trivially easy to adblock.

If you feel this way – please reconsider your outlook.

It takes money to store your blog and the blogs of the people you enjoy reading. Tumblr has to get this money from somewhere for its blogs to continue existing. Tumblr is a service that happens to exist in a universe where it is weird to pay social networks directly, and so companies like Tumblr have to do a weird convoluted money-and-attention juggling thing where various entities that are not Tumblr try to sell you things you probably don’t want. This makes Tumblr have priorities that are closer to “help these people sell to you” than to “make the users have a good time so they keep paying”.

We have good cultural reasons to be reflexively hostile to Tumblr’s decisions. But the one they’re making here where they’re trying to tunnel through to the nicer universe where social networks make money by providing value to users is not one that deserves your anger.

I’m not saying you should pay Tumblr! It is indeed easy to get what they are selling by downloading a few extensions. And even if it weren’t, you shouldn’t pay for things you don’t value. But please don’t have an incredulous “fuck you, why should I?” reaction to a company (that makes a product that benefits you) trying to make money in the most direct, honest way they can.

This attitude prolongs our stay in the ad timeline.