huh

You know how if the airport falls within your Tinder radius you can tell when flights land cause you’ll have no options and then suddenly two people with “flight attendant” in the job field and six girls from like, Denver?

Anyway I don’t watch TV so Reed girls are like my back-to-school commercials

Came across my first trans catgirl on Tinder

Other notes from LA Tinder: the trans girls are extremely passing (and honestly, so are the cis girls) and say, in the first two lines of the profile that gets displayed over the first picture, that they are trans girls, because they have clearly been burned by guys who didn’t click through to read

This contrasts with Portland, where so much of the time you certainly don’t need to read the text to clue in, tending to a let’s be charitable and say nonbinary genderfluid vibe, where you get the sense they just rolled out of bed, put on lipstick, and flipped the switch to “F”

dykeceratops:

unicorn hunters on Tinder be like “ooh come fuck my husband ;)” go fuck your own damn husband

Hadn’t used tinder in a while but just now got a match as I was swiping and the algorithm clearly shifted from showing me dregs and the undiscriminating like three notches closer to my ideal (as revealed by who I swipe on?)

I want an oral history of the girl holding up sunglasses from her beach chair on the Tinder sign-in screen

me: huh this Reedie I matched on Tinder is vibing like 2005, that’s actually kinda appealing

also me: it might be ‘cause she internalized that aesthetic when she was six

The HotelTonight “get unreserved hotel rooms for cheap late at night” pitches are the only Tinder ad campaign that really synchronize with the platform concept

“Well I like motorcycles but the look’s a little high-maintenance tryhard, let’s see what— oh. OH.”

Welp, just Tinder swiped on a girl named a feminized version of “Sephiroth”, time to go drink myself to sleep

“ring projecting from the side of one nostril” is regaining market share from “torc through the septum”, and thank fucking god

“people who travel for work and are good at fucking people off tinder” is def. an interesting new yuppie tribe I’m seeing develop, distinct from “Instagram people who travel to fuck for work” which seems more a flash in the pan

Girl’s front Tinder picture is a low-rez watermarked picture of her and a chinstrapped man kissing a baby superimposed with the text “R.I.P. {NAME} WE BOTH REALLY MISS YOU” and what the fuck, dude?

Discovered One Weird Trick to make my Tinder experience more pleasant and rewarding

Set my maximum search age to 7 years younger than me

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

saw my first Bernie selfie on Tinder

One of the best things about Tinder is learning that everyone you would see but never talk to is exactly what you’d assume on appearances

Tinder, you just presented me someone who’d super liked me and I liked her and you didn’t match us

Tinder, I understand you are literally an app for cockteasing but what the hell