polyaletheia:

kontextmaschine:

Exactly where did the h-manga “stuck in wall” trope get translated and manifest as the Anglophone memesexual “stuck in washing machine”?

I think Japanese washing machines are either smaller or top-loading, so there’s that.

No, in the meme version it’s a front-loader and she’s on her hands and knees (which distinguishes it from the “Instructions Unclear” human-in-top-loader meme). It’s also frequently rendered as “my stepsister stuck in a washing machine”, showing the influence of American pornographic tropes.

Thinking about how things have changed over the course of the 2010s such that the 2013 Belle Knox thing – you’re telling me there’s a college girl regularly making porn? cause she needs money? And the fact of this one specific girl makes semi-mainstream news? – is now completely incomprehensible

Continuing to realize there was a good deal of bi M stuff under my nose in MLW erotic culture all along

Like all the “let’s show each other our chick porn and talk about what we’re jerking off to” (or even “looking for a guy to tell how hot it is that my wife takes creampies from black dudes”) stuff I had been like “GAAAAAAAYY” and now I’m like “oh!”

kontextmaschine:

Oh also something I see a lot in the new sexual media fantasies is gang leaders and royalty used as stand-ins for power, both for plot reasons, like “who would even have the possibility of owning you as a personal pet” or to make you or them special, or to transgress against - “I’m the princess but I’m trapped outside the castle gates on the night of the kingdom’s annual Free Use Festival!”

I guess that’s just same as it ever was, what all the pirate captains and sheikhs were in romance novels, why there are Disney princesses

I suppose it’s worth noting that there’s a significant underground part of the culture explicitly, literally fetishizing non-democratic strongmen rn

Oh also something I see a lot in the new sexual media fantasies is gang leaders and royalty used as stand-ins for power, both for plot reasons, like “who would even have the possibility of owning you as a personal pet” or to make you or them special, or to transgress against - “I’m the princess but I’m trapped outside the castle gates on the night of the kingdom’s annual Free Use Festival!”

I guess that’s just same as it ever was, what all the pirate captains and sheikhs were in romance novels, why there are Disney princesses

NTR. huh!

(Afterthought to last anon about sexual media and a/b/o) I think in particular I enjoy submission that’s written to feel total, automatic, right, and instinctively satisfying. I often find that the way a/b/o fic describes heat-induced submissiveness (obedience, trust, desire to be claimed/owned, desire to be taken care of) is a lot closer to the way I experience subspace than descriptions of subspace in non-AU d/s writing are. I eroticize submission and like sexual media that do that well.

Like, “my natural submissiveness just feels right in the context of the body’s hormonal drives to get bred” isn’t “entirely incidental” imo

So with people going off on JK Rowling asserting menstruation as a defining concept of womanhood as trans-exclusive, that makes me think

So much of the new woman’s fantasy-driven “sexual media” thing (an inheritance of what used to be borne by romance novels) at its core is about eroticizing penises ejaculating inside women’s vaginas in a way that at least has the potential to get them pregnant

And impregnation isn’t just hetero-marked, part of the reenchantment of heterosexuality, not just cis-marked like menstruation, but hetero-double-cis marked, on the impregnating and impregnated sides

So thats something to think about: out of public view, orgasm by orgasm we’re reencoding sex fundamentally defined as cis-hetero

Theres workarounds - omegaverse stuff is basically transposing impregnation onto men to power M/M dynamics (kinda like how squirting helps men port over their understanding and kinks about their own ejaculation - “blowing a big load” as virile triumph, the idea that their satisfaction necessarily involves soiling something else…), you see it show up in ftm “fuck my pussy like a girl” stuff that eroticizes dysphoria. I havent seen any transbian variants, but maybe I’m not reading the right futa.

I’m charmed by the straightfaced conceit of sissification that you were powerless before the hypnotic effect that turned you into a sissy and the question of why in the first place you were consuming 2-hour porn compilations and 6-hour subconscious sleep audios full of femininity affirmation that you found from your sissification forum is completely elided

30something bluecheck who came out of 2000s feminist blogs: ha, now that Lana Del Rey admits her elegies to uncontested male dominion ARENT ironic subversions of heteropatriarchy, people will see how out of touch she is!

me (same age) who has noticed as the smartphone generation starts foregrounding female erotic fantasies: uhhhh

Ah! I see there’s already quarantine-themed incest porn on the tube sites

So I introduced this concept on 6/24/19

‘cause for a while I’ve been expecting a cultural turn on correlation of forces grounds but it was severe enough I couldn’t possibly imagine how anyone could get to narrativizing it from where we are, and I just found an answer-shaped idea, it’s chillingly well precedented, the coalition that would be against it just spent the last decade defining themselves against each other, the premise and the motte are perfectly in line with modern goodthink, and the bailey is the most corrosive weapons-grade infohazard I’ve ever seen

And since then first I heard all sorts of guesses, but it mostly seemed an excuse for people to pour their apocalypticisms out on me, no two were the same. But I meant “infohazard” seriously, not just like dangerous forbidden knowledge but like encountering it changes your worldview in a way you can’t shake

Okay.

It’s “Rapekink”.

The “problem” is “gee, how do we derail all this anti-rape fixation so it’s not the defining element of our male-female relations” and that’s the key. Like, being raped, as a kink. Particularly, as a common nonvolitional response to being raped, processing a trauma that challenges your sense of self by eroticizing and “owning” it.

Presents as (overwhelmingly) female empowerment through owning your sexuality, a “by the oppressed, for the oppressed”, “there’s no wrong way to be a survivor and it’s not your place to tell people how to do it” thing

The motte is “if this is you don’t be ashamed, it’s more common than people admit, and accepting it and incorporating it into your sex life through things like ‘consensual nonconsent’ roleplay with a trusted partner is not only acceptably healthy but can be an affirmatively healing form of self-care”

The bailey is “rapebaiting” as practice, for when the thing about your NC kink is that it’s not C

Mostly based on reddit, centered around one forum, but that’s where our sexual unconscious is now that tumblr shook it off. (Because they wanted to dump all the middle schoolers off on somewhere with moderation, truefax. Like when I found the “teacher crush community” I was scrolling through intrigued and then you come across a picture tagged #me #underage and like haha, best of luck kid I’m closing this window)

But expanding. New affiliate subreddits in the sidebar all the time, and I see its tropes leaching into other scenes. “baiting”.

A lot of the stuff romanticized seems to be pretty borderline, like “I went out to the club to get fucked and dressed and acted slutty enough that the guy I found and wanted to fuck didn’t bother with foreplay or seeking affirmative consent” or like “my boyfriend, who I’ve repeatedly told I want to wake up with his dick inside me, stuck it in while I was sleeping”, it verges on “free use” kink

That’s a homeostatic mechanism I didn’t think about, the more things you call “rape” the more people decide they have a thing for rape.

Then you get to stuff like “I can’t believe I’m in college and still a virgin, someone PLEASE tell me how to look irresistably vulnerable at parties” and it’s like “hm”

And how do you stop it? Antis all the time going off like “just cause you were TRAUMATIZED by X doesn’t make it okay for you to EMBRACE X as a kink” but they’ve never actually got that established as a norm in a space they don’t control and everyone’s already hardened their spaces against their infiltration and they’ve already passed their peak influence and are dismissible

Are you going to say they’re being survivors wrong?

Going higher profile would mean the following ideas being introduced into the culture, that’s the “infohazard” bit, now you know it forever:

• Some share of girls who are drunk and vulnerable, or who are “leading you on” only to refuse you are quite literally trying to get raped, which they would like very much and be disappointed in the absence of.
• No, contrary to everything they’ve said for decades it’s not just a safely cordoned off fantasy that disappears when the quotation marks do, they really mean “raped”
• Corrective rape and “marking” work, you can in fact mold someone’s sexual nature or compel them to fixate on you by forcing sex on them
• You can actually establish dominion over someone by forced orgasm and fluid bonding, and can leverage all sorts of bullshit off that

That last one - “rape shield” laws introduced in the 70s-90s suppressed things re: the alleged victim in court cases. Your broader sexual experience, so they couldn’t establish you as available unto up-for-grabs levels. But also about the experience, it was thought that was wielded against you for leverage-by-humiliation, “did you cum?” that used to be something the defense lawyer would ask you under oath in open court

(I knew someone accused of rape in college but she later admitted it was false and it bugs me that in court it would be suppressed that she racked up a three-digit count that year walking from the shower to boys’ rooms and dropping her robe; not cause it establishes her as unrapeably easy but as adrift and seeking attention with blunt instruments.)

They often identify an “origin story”, there are four typical origin stories

• I had a rough experience and it wrecked me, like it was this black hole in my memories I couldn’t help falling into every day and it wrecked me every time, then somewhere from 6 months to several years later something flipped and now it’s the only thing I can get off to and that’s fucked up as hell
• I had a rough experience and though I didn’t want it I realized at the time it was more physically and mentally arousing than anything (and maybe he noticed) and I feel really weird about that but now I can’t get it out of my head
• I had a fucked-up childhood and when I became a sexual being wouldn’t you know, it was pretty fucked up
• Nothing ever happened to me, before I was a sexual being I really had a thing for kidnap scenes in movies and now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

These aren’t people *ignorant* of the proper way to do things, the story varies between “I sought help through traditional victim-centered groups but I felt like my experience was erased and now I’m glad to find people who center my voice” and “this is what works for me and all that matters is self-care”

Or “hu-hyuk, I just like rape”. The lord of the rapekink subreddit is called PervOtaku, the other admins cross over with r/stupidslutsclub which feels similar in a consensual idiom, instead of setting you on a glidepath to rapebaiting it sets you on a glidepath to “the mall challenge”

Some stories smell like fantasies, but part of the conceit is that people are defensively eroticizing experiences that were pretty grody in real life

Some stories you can tell are just fantasies if only because they were clearly concieved in third person omniscient and then rewritten in first person to fit the subreddit’s thereapeutic framing device

But they’ll ban you if you point that out. Creating a hostile environment for survivors and all.

Too many people show up being too believable for it all to be astroturf, product of some channer Discord.

Precedents:

That 1965 Sean Connery Playboy interview

I don’t think there is anything particularly wrong about hitting a woman–although I don’t recommend doing it in the same way that you’d hit a man. An openhanded slap is justified–if all other alternatives fail and there has been plenty of warning. If a woman is a bitch, or hysterical, or bloody-minded continually, then I’d do it.

Since Teddy Roosevelt, at least since Prohibition, at least at least since Generation of Vipers in ’42 there was an elite male consensus that women had taken things over because men had failed to keep them in control, a big part of The 60s, its leadup and tail was a male assertion

As 2000s feminist bloggers pointed out at length, Norman Mailer and underground comix and all that midcentury male freedom was all about the freedom to relate to women for their fuck-value and thus treat unfuckable matrons as worthless. A good part of Soul On Ice was about reclaiming “rapist”!

The Feminist Sex Wars of the 1980s

Like, this was very literally a thing the last time we went through this cycle, second-wavers were like And Therefore, Let’s Suppress Valorization Of Power Dynamics In Male-Female Relations and the normies AND the Gorean nerds AND the BDSM lesbians and the emerging Foucauldian scholars were like “but wait it’s HOT when women get hurt, it turns us on” and they won

Also the emerging porn industry, today it’s not so on its toes in the face of “obscenity” law but it seems pretty good at splashing money around when they need to, so let’s hope

huh

drethelin:

diarrheaworldstarhiphop:

me.gusta

this shit is where it’s at actually 

Wait, is writing “slut” and “whore” on your partner a familiar trope now?

infraredarmy:

kontextmaschine:

the breakout single of Lover is gonna be Paper Rings, which is about kink replacing Christianity as the idiom by which non-elite white people form default bonds

this is gonna be fucking amazing

explain

Okay this is maybe a bit overblown, it triggered existing ideas in my head about #sexual media and all that, a little overenthusiastic “oh my god, if SHE sees it too, it’s real and I’m on the right track.” So maybe it’s better taken as an example of her writing things so specific yet so open-ended that everyone can see what they want in it.

But I can defend it.

Okay to start with this song feels like a sequel to Stay Stay Stay - bouncy healthy, resilient relationship positivity that uses language that’s kind of therapeutic (“you should never leave a fight unresolved”, “who always took their problems out on me”, “I think that it’s best”) and somewhat colloquial (”I just like hangin’ out with you‘), distant from the core Taylor Swift character. You… get a sense this couple owns at least one Funko Pop. Now. First off, the refrain:

I like shiny things/but I’d marry you with paper rings

There are two ways I can see that, first like “the formal bridezilla accoutrements of a wedding sound nice but we’re poor and I’d accept just you.”

Now that’s specifically not the coastal elite model of marriage as a “capstone” once you’ve got the rest of your lifepath sorted. Especially when you factor in the painting the brother’s wall - these are people who didn’t move away from home.

The second is that they retain a respect for the symbolic meaning of marriage - either the “blue” one as a capstone of self-constructed life trajectory, or the “red” one as the sanctified beginning of family and household formation - but that aside, what they really want is just you.

And the last decade in Portland honestly I’ve been seeing that from both sides - couples who moved from the mountain and interior west who have no ‘Merica god, guns, or country in them at all, but who still take it as normal to marry at 22 and have a kid at 24; people who in my generation would have been blue coastal strivers but no longer expect a rise-to-power plotline and might as well settle anyway, into a relationship based on mutual support without external referents

I hate accidents/except when we went from friends to this

Okay but here’s the thing, the song opens with a description of how “this” happened – “the night we first met/went home and tried to stalk you on the internet”, “cat and mouse for a month or two or three”.

That does not sound like an accident, and it goes straight from that to “now I’ve read all the books beside your bed” without a stop at “friends” in between. (also that’s a great example of her words=sex thing that she establishes they’ve been sleeping together by saying she’s been reading his books)

So what is it? It’s a counterfactual. It’s roleplay. Or it’s a romantic idiom so prominent in Funko girl’s mind she puts it under that even if it doesn’t apply - the “friends to lovers” trope that Taylor Swift has been writing all this time, and the acccidental setup that finally brings them together.

OR, she knows it doesn’t apply, but that’s the idiom of “how to get a man” that she grew up internalizing (you ever think about how odd it is that the great 2008 friendzone anthem was written and performed by a woman?) so she was secretly aiming for it the whole time, and as far as he knows that’s what happens but the first lines were the calculations only she saw.

I want your complications too, I want your dreary Mondays, wrap your arms around me baby boy

Like, that’s hurt/comfort, that’s depression reassurance, that’s ASMR, they’re not “kink” per se, but I increasingly see stuff suggesting the old saw is true and women don’t seem to have such a firm distinction between romance and erotica or physical sex acts and relationship power dynamics. That’s also finished off in a gender-swap of “baby girl”, the sub counterpart to “daddy”.

The other thing is the recurring “dirty dreams” as the context for how she wants him and in the outro that resolves to “in all my dreams”

argumate:

rescuing/ruining pornography by adding voiceover from a Wise Narrator at the end saying and they woke up and found it was all a dream.

literally for a while American obscenity law worked such that pornography was regularly rescued by a Wise Narrator at the beginning posing it as a sociological investigation as a framing device

In one more bit of “our revealed preferences as seen in sexual media indie erotica trends are probably a better guide to the actual cultural shifts going on than our publicly proclaimed ideologies”:

I am starting to see more and more FtM “fuck me like a girl” posts in the erotica and roleplay subreddits and the gonewilds, especially the “plz degrade me” ones, because it’s framed as misgendering as degradation

And a lot of times, kink fetishization seems to be how people reconcile their worldviews with the exact things they most don’t want but nonetheless must admit exist in the world. So I’m not saying they really want to be seen as women, might be a sign of the exact opposite.*

And yet, in the cis, hetero world there already exists a kink about men having their maleness denied, being proclaimed worthlessly female as a humiliation, being treated and fucked as women, being gaslit and manipulated into seeing themselves as women.

It is called “sissification”, and interestingly this FtM “misgender me with your dick” stuff doesn’t seem to draw on or be aware of it at all, and it doesn’t even seem to have convergently evolved to fetishize the same angles of it. If anything, it seems to combine hetero Fsub “use and degrade me irrespective of my wishes” tropes with gay male yaoi seme/uke dynamics.

And I look back to last year when someone was like “all these FtM bandwagoners, they’re really just fujoshi fangirls, y’know”, and I who had no sense there even was a trend to bandwagon was like “no I didn’t, what?”

And now I’m like “hm”.

* though I mean, if you’re offering yourself up on r/Misogynyfetish, you are asserting that degrading you constitutes “misogyny”, so, hm.

kontextmaschine:

One interesting thing is the shifting roles of condoms in heterosexual culture

Like, part (but not all) of the Sexual Revolution dynamic was The Pill and now you didn’t have to worry about it! (As in, men didn’t have to worry about contraception, which was entirely on women now)

But then AIDS, which was part-cynically leveraged to reenchant condoms (or abstinence) even among straights

Remember the Austin Powers bit where the spy frozen in the Swinging Sixties and unfrozen in the 90s laughs off the concept of condoms as something for sailors? (who patronize cheap dockside prostitutes also patronized by other sailors from disease pools all over the world)

But that seems to have faded. Since the 2000s I see girls complaining that guys never want to wear condoms “any more”, the whole “stealthing” thing treats insistence on condoms as one of those female things you pretend to humor but certainly don’t actually respect

And then there’s the girls that want it. “creampie” as a fetish, the act of just ejaculating in a vagina as like a special niche sex act, you started to see that in the mid-2000s. You saw stuff called “creampie” before that but that was specifically eating semen out of the vagina, as part of cuckoldry or other Fdom humiliation, or in MFF threesomes as a way to get everyone in on the cumshot

And so now that’s advanced to the point where impreg risk is almost a mainstream hot part of heterosexuality, which gets a bit weird. Saw a reddit post that was like “my boyfriend stopped using condoms after a few months, and he’d be dirty talking to me like he was going to knock me up, and that was really hot, and I just thought of it as a hot kink, but then I actually became pregnant”

and

friend

Oh okay I looked back over that reddit post and though she never directly said it, reading between the lines she was herself on birth control, which is why she thought of barebacking with impreg dirty talk as a weightless lark. So the thing getting pregnant made her reevaluate wasn’t “wait, this is really how babby is formed?”, it was “wait, was he serious about the impreg thing and sabotaging my birth control?”, which is a lot more sympathetic and less ditzy.

So okay, that’s not a sign of “people are fetishizing insemination and impregnation so hard they forget that’s what sex is for”. But it is a sign of “people are fetishizing impregnation as a hostile, controlling act so hard they forget that some of the people vocally enthusiastic about impregnation as a hostile, controlling act actually want to impregnate women as a hostile, controlling act”

For one, that’s extremely relevant to the infohazard, which you will hear about before September

For two, there’s also themes of “being impregnated as a hostile, controlling act” floating around out there. “Forced orgasm”, don’t-let-him-pull-out, baby-trapping, “yandere”, as a way to steal him or lock him down.

That seems to have started with the by-women, for-women, power-dynamics-first world of erotic fanfiction, but professional studios are starting to introduce elements of it to the “step”-family incest brands they kicked off the post-gonzo Return of Plot with, or even create brands specifically for it.

And so if that’s becoming an equal part of our post-consent mainstream sexual imaginary, you wonder just how much kidding on the square it is.

One interesting thing is the shifting roles of condoms in heterosexual culture

Like, part (but not all) of the Sexual Revolution dynamic was The Pill and now you didn’t have to worry about it! (As in, men didn’t have to worry about contraception, which was entirely on women now)

But then AIDS, which was part-cynically leveraged to reenchant condoms (or abstinence) even among straights

Remember the Austin Powers bit where the spy frozen in the Swinging Sixties and unfrozen in the 90s laughs off the concept of condoms as something for sailors? (who patronize cheap dockside prostitutes also patronized by other sailors from disease pools all over the world)

But that seems to have faded. Since the 2000s I see girls complaining that guys never want to wear condoms “any more”, the whole “stealthing” thing treats insistence on condoms as one of those female things you pretend to humor but certainly don’t actually respect

And then there’s the girls that want it. “creampie” as a fetish, the act of just ejaculating in a vagina as like a special niche sex act, you started to see that in the mid-2000s. You saw stuff called “creampie” before that but that was specifically eating semen out of the vagina, as part of cuckoldry or other Fdom humiliation, or in MFF threesomes as a way to get everyone in on the cumshot

And so now that’s advanced to the point where impreg risk is almost a mainstream hot part of heterosexuality, which gets a bit weird. Saw a reddit post that was like “my boyfriend stopped using condoms after a few months, and he’d be dirty talking to me like he was going to knock me up, and that was really hot, and I just thought of it as a hot kink, but then I actually became pregnant”

and

friend