shrine to the prophet of americana

#portlandportlandportland (737 posts)

In Mall 205 to hit up Bed Bath & Beyond for sheets. Man, we're not in Portland anymore. Well, technically, you are. That's why...

In Mall 205 to hit up Bed Bath & Beyond for sheets. Man, we’re not in Portland anymore. Well, technically, you are. That’s why all of institutional PDX turned against Jefferson Smith at the end of that last election - that ginned-up “scandal” was just a pretext; neither the downtown money or the inner SE lifestylers were about to allow a mayor with his power base in East Portland.

Anyway I went to the bathroom by the abandoned food court and I’m pretty sure the spotty Filipino(?) emo kid at the sink was trying to cruise me.

Tagged: portlandportlandportland jefferson smith

Men's bathroom, B-Side Tavern, Portland, OR.

Men’s bathroom, B-Side Tavern, Portland, OR.

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Consultants without their own offices sometimes use this teahouse to meet with clients, I remember in one week I once overheard...

Consultants without their own offices sometimes use this teahouse to meet with clients, I remember in one week I once overheard sessions on the following:

  • Preparing to apply to college
  • Dealing with jealousy in polyamorous relationships
  • Planning a woodcrafts-themed wedding
  • Aligning your chakras to unlock career potential
  • Setting up a mung bean breakfast bar business for the vegan paleo diet market

Tagged: portlandportlandportland

Bathroom, Townshend’s tea house, Alberta St., Portland, OR. Given all the woo I overhear from the kombucha-drinkers here, I...

Bathroom, Townshend’s tea house, Alberta St., Portland, OR.

Given all the woo I overhear from the kombucha-drinkers here, I think this might be earnest.

Tagged: portlandportlandportland David Icke

Valentine’s Day is when people step it up, which is why there are so many Beavertonians in my everyday bars. Three times have...

Valentine’s Day is when people step it up, which is why there are so many Beavertonians in my everyday bars.

Three times have I seen the same combo of “40something guy with white hair on his biceps” groping “girlfriend in tight leather, tight red curls, loose um nasiolabial folds” in the most intentionally visible location in the bar.

Tagged: portlandportlandportland

portland is receiving wintry mix tomorrow, the main form of snow that like portland is made up bullshit

Tagged: portlandportlandportland

For a town full of Subarus and light pickup 4x4s from back before the vanity SUV era, Portland can *not* fucking handle an inch...

For a town full of Subarus and light pickup 4x4s from back before the vanity SUV era, Portland can *not* fucking handle an inch of snow.

Tagged: portlandportlandportland

"Custer’s Last Fight", Budweiser promotional decoration, while 2 guys played Big Buck World and their cute female friend talked...

“Custer’s Last Fight”, Budweiser promotional decoration, while 2 guys played Big Buck World and their cute female friend talked about how hot the safari guide girls were, Club 21, Portland, OR

Tagged: portlandportlandportland Budweiser

Tagged: portlandportlandportland

Crowd of metal bros getting out to flowy drunk-dance to Linger at karaoke at The Alleyway. "This is my JAM"

Crowd of metal bros getting out to flowy drunk-dance to Linger at karaoke at The Alleyway. “This is my JAM”

Tagged: portlandportlandportland

Stopped by Ground Kontrol on the way back from Powell’s, forgot it was free play night. God damn, it’s like a manic pixie geek...

Stopped by Ground Kontrol on the way back from Powell’s, forgot it was free play night. God damn, it’s like a manic pixie geek girl convention tonight.

(Alt. joke “enough hair dye to turn a yeti red”)

Tagged: portlandportlandportland

Powell's City of Books, Portland, OR

Powell’s City of Books, Portland, OR

Tagged: manga yaoi yuri portlandportlandportland powell's books

www.carolynmain.com

waytoomuchportland:

www.carolynmain.com

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NE 24th & Glisan

NE 24th & Glisan

Tagged: portlandportlandportland

Portlandiversary

Portlandiversary

kontextmaschine:

I’ve been in Portland for two years almost to the day now, so in honor of the occasion I’ll share with you the two most Portland experiences I’ve ever had. That’s actually quite a high bar, as Portland is very dedicated to being Portland.

2. The first time I came to Alberta street I parked my…

Oh as long as I’m on this kick you know what I should’ve mentioned? Going to New Seasons and seeing a guy with a Whole Foods tote and a Resistance Records t-shirt.

Tagged: portlandportlandportland

I'm seeing a prostitute mock a would-be medical student for the massive amount of debt he'll get in and how stupid he is for choosing that path.

@kontextmaschine: she’s right - in general the credentialed professions are in for a big decline relative to the skilled trades.

Okay, let’s do this here. You know that vegan strip club in Portland, Casa Diablo? I know a girl who dances there. Well, danced, back when she lived in the polyamorous dancer commune in that big Victorian off North Killingsworth. (Now she tends at the Dr. Who themed bar) Portland has more strip clubs than anywhere, mostly cause OR has free speech protections so strong that we effectively have a constitutional right to brothels staffed by high schoolers. So they compete on stage shows. A lot of it is basically very good naked acrobatics, but CD’s known for multi-girl performances with penetration.

That’s all true but I phrased it to push your buttons cause here’s the kicker - Greater Cascadia in general, and Portland in particular, is the most consciously thedish part of America. I have never seen somewhere so committed to the primacy of male Scando-Germanic small business owners who read books, work with their hands, create for fun, and fuck women. Even if you’re a few of those things it’s great, and if you’re none you’re welcomed as a courtesy by a hegemony under no existential threat.

Everything works like it’s supposed to only better, under a weirdly functional libertarian technocratic social democracy. The polity is aggressively reasonable - sure the last mayor had a gay relationship with a high school intern (and a previous one turned governor with his junior high babysitter) but the REAL scandal is how he overprioritized worthy capital improvements in the face of an expenses crunch.

Not everyone’s totally satisfied - the socialists and tea partiers frown, the anarchist antifa and WN fa fume, the official history has it that the city ended segregation by asking the landlords and realtors to stop in the mid-1990s, the unofficial history is no, that’s just when the ghetto was gentrified. The system listens politely to challenges and ignores them. More exit than voice - under state land regs you can’t turn farmland into subdivisions but you can build your freehold or commune in the woods on the condition that you declare independence from government services like utilities, roads, fire, and police.

High income tax, capped property, no sales, state gets most of its money from drinking and gambling, and most people are mid-functioning addicts of something and there are 3 bars on each commercial block. If they run out of money they just stop - school let out months early one year. Love learning but skeptical of education, which tends adult and vocational. Lot of autodidacts.

Few national chains, most stuff is made and sold by local farmers, artisans, artists, and shopkeepers. What isn’t is often bought used and repaired for decades. Lot of skilled and semiskilled labor.

There is a social justice tint but less tumblr than communitarian, partly an artifact of so many of the women working in caring or charming professions that can schedule around childraising. People pair and breed early, but usually only 1-3 and they still sleep around with their friends.

The sticks are surprisingly cosmopolitan, the core pretty redneck, people like to drink, fuck, fight, hike, and read. It’s like if Germany won the World War — the first one. Watching people get that wrong from afar makes me really eyebrow at /pol/ types going off on Sweden. Think you’d like it. Even if none of us go to church. LOL.
 

Tagged: portlandportlandportland come home cascadia

North Portland.

North Portland.

Tagged: portlandportlandportland

Portlandiversary

I’ve been in Portland for two years almost to the day now, so in honor of the occasion I’ll share with you the two most Portland experiences I’ve ever had. That’s actually quite a high bar, as Portland is very dedicated to being Portland.

2. The first time I came to Alberta street I parked my motorcycle and had barely made it half a block, admiring the attractively graffitied televisions left in the middle of the sidewalk. A man interrupted me to hand me a single left motorcycle glove. When I looked at him quizzically he said “‘cause I don’t have a motorcycle”, by way of explanation.

1. One night I went to the strip club I’d bought a VIP card for on my first week in town. In there I was surprised to meet the bartender with pinball tattoos I recognized from a regular haunt. I think she was with a mixed-gender group that, from how they seemed to relate to each other, I’d speculate was part of some kink or polyamory club. We talked and she, who I had previously pegged at maybe 24, brought up her 13 year old son. She said she was proud and happy that he was into Slayer and D&D, “because I can tell he’s going to get mad laid”.

Tagged: portlandportlandportland portland portland or

san francisco is 16 hours and 90 bucks each way by bus :(

monetizeyourcat:

san francisco is 16 hours and 90 bucks each way by bus :(

My mother knows, intellectually, that the west coast is as about as long as the east, but it’s a little endearing how she hasn’t internalized this at all - she thought of LA-PDX as an afternoon’s trip and last time she came out to visit I had to talk her out of inviting Seattle friends down for dinner.

Tagged: portlandportlandportland

My OKCupid matches increasingly look and sound like girls I would have died to get when I was 19 but kinda roll my eyes at now...

My OKCupid matches increasingly look and sound like girls I would have died to get when I was 19 but kinda roll my eyes at now and I can’t tell if that’s because I answered questions in a way that reflect a self-image that firmed up at that point more than my actual present self, or if it’s because Portland.

Tagged: portlandportlandportland