god damn it it just hit me that my tumultuous love/hate relationship with the concept of monasticism is literally just a cover...
god damn it it just hit me that my tumultuous love/hate relationship with the concept of monasticism is literally just a cover for my depression since when you take monasticism and subtract all the parts i’m explicitly and irreconcilably opposed to what you’re left with is basically ‘very lonely person who gets a pass for wearing the same outfit every day’