See my whole life I was told I was freakishly mentally advanced – just seemed the normal level to me – so I kind of had a heading ready to file it under when I got like, a meta- level demo of the entire concept of mentally constructed “selves” a few years back, but first the weight loss and now the muscle growth, like other people can see that shit too, right?
On the 2nd day of what I’d originally thought should just be a 1 day break and I might make it 3 so I can let the muscle growth around where the arms meet the torso mature and keep stretched out so I don’t get musclebound, which I realize from ‘80s steroid meathead stereotypes is a risk from intense T-augmented bodybuilding.
Don’t really have any “leg day” stuff to do but just a little walking around the neighborhood was enough yesterday, might do some more.
Hunk TF summer continues apace, probably going to declare fat down to the “overweight side of average” level soon, and the impression of my entire torso save the stomach itself to the touch is now muscle. Really the old “upper roll of fat” of the stomach, too.
God, my limbs are all thick now, my torso feels like my innards are suddenly in a muscular casing.
Keep in mind the reference comparison for this experience is not that summer in college you did manual labor, but if you had done that on steroids
My back’s not stiff in a like-a-board way, but I did just have to spend some time on my side to dissipate the effects of sleeping on my back before I sat up.
Okay, 2nd day of rest and muscle recovery.
The big power-producing motive muscles are fine, what’s still sore are the little helper ones that align them right for various purposes, but those are the ones I can like rotate a leg and lie it down and suddenly take all weight off and it feels heavenly
Well not so much sore as wiped. “Fagged”? They’re definitely bottoming rn.
That said it is so fucking weird to run my hand over my naked torso and have the primary impression be muscle
Okay, 2nd day of rest and muscle recovery.
The big power-producing motive muscles are fine, what’s still sore are the little helper ones that align them right for various purposes, but those are the ones I can like rotate a leg and lie it down and suddenly take all weight off and it feels heavenly
Big change in the physical experience of coughing: a net of muscles out from my spine across my back is now much stronger at resisting deformation from overpressure of the lungs, which then gets channeled elsewhere and raises the felt pressure on other parts of the thoracic cavity
Because of my creatine cycle, I’ve lately been made very aware of how muscle growth after exercise also demands energy in its own right
Gotten used to some wild shot the last few years, guess waking up and feeling my muscular chest is the next one.
My topsoil work is basically all John Henry vs. the Dump Truck now, at my fastest I can take like 80 minutes and a short pitching shovel to empty upon the ground a bed less than half as tall as a hydraulic lift can in 10 seconds.
Oh nice, I can’t do pull-ups again yet but I can jump up and hold on and slow my descent, which means at this speed of development not long before I can hold on and stay there, and then on to lifting myself up, which means I’ll be able to casually knock out a few sets a day in the doorway bar between my kitchen and sitting room.
I'm just glad you occasionally acknowledge what a lucky son of a bitch you are, otherwise you'd be completely intolerable.
Yeah even when I had anxiety combining with the depression side of manic depression I didn’t think of myself as particularly unfortunate in any particular area, social stuff wasn’t my thing but well within common norms
The first miracle, just the personality change stuff, well that’s weird like brains are weird and everyone’s gonna have something be the weirdest thing that happened in their life, and mine also takes weirdest thing to ever happen to anyone I know, so that’s kinda neat.
The second miracle, the creatine weight loss thing, insane how that’s perfectly on track to take all the fat I built in life and leave me attractively slim with like no effort, but I do feel some agency by way of figuring it out and it seems fitting that I get some kind of reward for putting everything together there (while still deliriously half-brained!) to fix it immediately
The third miracle, this muscle gain testosterone stuff, it’s like you already gilded the lily, what are you doing now, gilding the gilding? Fuck, man.
Jesus, now that I count it out I have been drinking like a gallon of whole milk a day this week.
Hanging out shirtless in a chair and appreciating how much burlier my chest is than like, four days ago.
taken that jamaican dick yet, ytboi?
You will recall that I realized “bottoming for a West Indian guy” as a fantasy was really a delayed reaction to Dee Jay in Street Fighter that didn’t trigger for decades while I was straight, and that was kind of about his lean (but not Dhalsim-thin) muscular form, and as my muscles develop I feel myself moving towards that form, which is interesting.
Kind of wonder how much of my body changes I’m missing looking in the mirror cause I can’t see my back. I can tell by feel that’s where a lot of the muscles I’m developing lately are.
Alright, at this point there is no feature of my arms defined by fat until I bend my elbow to 80°, it at most softens features defined by muscles.
Yeah okay all parts of the torso not buried indistinct under the old lower roll of fat are tangibly more meaty to the touch.
Like, if anyone’s into hypermasculinization TF sure, you may as well vicariously enjoy all this.
Yeah okay all parts of the torso not buried indistinct under the old lower roll of fat are tangibly more meaty to the touch.