shrine to the prophet of americana

#holidays (175 posts)

Trolled my bleeding heart SJW shitlib friends by putting this on the jukebox and just got that blank fluoride stare, SMDH (it’s...

kontextmaschine:

kontextmaschine:

Trolled my bleeding heart SJW shitlib friends by putting this on the jukebox and just got that blank fluoride stare, SMDH

(it’s Duke Ellington’s performance of “Christopher Columbus”, for those of you in countries yet to be liberated)

sometimes (I fantasize that) people ask me: “kontextmaschine, how does your intent of leaving a record for history mesh with the way you write in dense, already-obscure cultural references?”

and I respond, “Dathon and Picard, in ’Darmok’”

Tagged: holidays columbus day

I’m reading on old superstitions and: “Do not go out collecting nuts on Sept 14th, holy Rood Day, as the devil will be out...

yomozukis:

yomozukis:

I’m reading on old superstitions and:
“Do not go out collecting nuts on Sept 14th, holy Rood Day, as the devil will be out nutting too!”
September 14th: the day the Devil nuts

HAPPY DEVIL NUT DAY

Tagged: holidays

Happy Labor Day

Happy Labor Day

kontextmaschine:



There was an autoworker, Ben Hamper, who wrote a column in the Flint (later Michigan) Voice, which was the alt-weekly Michael Moore first made his name by running. A lot of his columns got collected and repackaged in an excellent book, Rivethead that I read in college.

I read it in a class by Stuart Blumin, who was my favorite professor and de facto advisor. He was an American historian, focused on labor and class and the development of capitalism, you could tell he was heavily influenced by EP Thompson and the Communist Party Historians Group over in the UK.

He was quite open that he had expected Communism to ultimately triumph, and that he had been wrong about that, and in subtext that he had wanted it to ultimately triumph, and didn’t think he had been wrong about that.

Anyway, Rivethead. The story is that Hamper was born in 1956, a fairly clever kid growing up in Flint, Michigan, the chronological and geographic apex of American industrial unionism, where everyone’s dad worked for GM.

And he could have gone to college but he gets some girl pregnant and so he goes to work on the assembly line not even really out of obligation or Catholic guilt or whatever but because that seems as good a life course as any, it’s what every man he’s known does, under the mighty UAW the pay’s on par with the kind of “educated” jobs you could get anyway, why not.

And so he goes to work on the line and eventually he ends up writing a column about it, and he talks about the color of the factory culture, playing soccer with rivets for balls and cardboard boxes for goals, drinking mickeys of malt liquor in your car on lunch break, the absurd fursuited mascot “Howie Makem, The Quality Cat” that GM would feature at rallies and shop-floor tours, being laid off in economic downturns and put into the “job bank” where you get paid waiting to be rehired in the next upswing, developing a perfect rhythm with your partner, training into a rhythm so perfect you can each trade off doing the two-person job yourself for 4 hours while the other one goes out to a bar on the clock, the dignity and solidarity of the American worker.

And time goes on and eventually his marriage fails but he takes it in stride, and his column gets recognized and he takes pride in that and then eventually he has an epiphany, and a complete breakdown, which are basically the same thing. And the inciting incident is when an older line worker, some guy he’d looked up to as a model of quiet, philosophical stolidity, just shits himself and is barely coherent enough to even notice this and he realizes the guy hadn’t been a Zen master, he’d just been checked-out mindless drunk on the line every day.

And he realizes that the rivethead life is destroying him, that the only thing holding it together was a budding alcoholism, and that it’s doing the same to all his co-workers, and looks back and realizes it had done the same to every grown-up man he knew, his father and uncles that growing up he had looked up to as models of masculine strength and fortitude really had just had their spark snuffed out and the life beaten out of them long before, and whatever pride they took in the cars out on the road was a defensive attempt to locate in an external form the sense of self-value that had been exterminated within them.

When Marx talked about “alienation”, well.

And he went crazy, and couldn’t bear to work on the line anymore, and there’s no redemption, that’s where the book ends.

And that was a theme that cropped up again in Professor Blumin’s class, that there were two great working class traditions that echoed through the ages, and they were

1) avoiding work
and
2) drinking

Back in the premechanized age of small-group workshop manufacturing, workers would celebrate “Saint Monday”, which was to say just not showing up for work, hung over after the weekend.

(This was riffing off of Catholic feast days, or holy days, from which we take the word “holiday”, and as time went on counted an increasing share of the days of the year. There was a reason that poor workers were aligned with the Church, and nobility, in “Altar and Throne” coalitions resisting the development of industrial capitalist liberal democracy.)

In the ‘80s, the crap time of American auto manufacturing, one trick that was passed around (pre-internet, so by word of mouth largely) was to look at the codes stamped on car bodies, which would tell you what day of the week they were manufactured, and to avoid Mondays and Fridays. Because those days had the highest defect rates, because the workers tended to be drunk, or hungover, or absent.

And back in the workshop days, you’d drink at work. Apprentices would be sent out for growlers or buckets of beer, there were elaborate rules of who in the hierarchy of workers was expected to buy rounds for who and when. And there was hellacious resistance to attempts to get them to knock this off, as the industrial era kicked into swing.

Those great satanic mills, where women and children worked in shifts at great water- or steam-driven sewing and spinning machines, stories of little kids getting their hands mangled by the machinery? One of the major reasons women and children were preferred was because they would actually show up on time every day, and stay sober around all those hand-manglers.

And I mean, this maybe sounds like an argument for socialism. Though not of any actually-existing- variety, as capitalist propaganda will be glad to tell you, Soviet work culture, at least when the morale thrills of the Revolution and Great Patriotic War faded from personal to institutional memory, was all about shirking and vodka.

So those complaints about how America celebrates Labor Day instead of May Day, ignoring the true meaning of labor - solidarity - in favor of mindless distraction? Psssh. Labor Day is a celebration of the truest, most ancient, most fundamental traditions of labor: not working (especially on Mondays), and getting drunk.

Happy Labor Day!

Tagged: rerun holidays

holy shit you guys/it’s Juneteenth/I dunno what to do/except drink/let’s not do that with Juneteenth

holy shit you guys/it’s Juneteenth/I dunno what to do/except drink/let’s not do that with Juneteenth

Tagged: holidays

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade 1934 via 6sqft

back-then:

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
1934

via 6sqft

Tagged: holidays ‘merica

oh shit, it’s Ed Balls Day again already

oh shit, it’s Ed Balls Day again already

Tagged: ed balls holidays

Seriously, a repaganized America could have Jesus as the patron of the first three months, bookended with the two seasonal...

Seriously, a repaganized America could have Jesus as the patron of the first three months, bookended with the two seasonal festivals he oversees – Talladega Nights was really onto something with the Christmas Jesus/Easter Jesus distinction in vernacular ‘Merican Christianity

Tagged: kontextmaschine does the bible ‘merica holidays

icarus-suraki:

hiamigoman:

Happy Easter.

Tagged: holidays

So years ago someone – online, meatspace, I forget – once said “Ah, St. Patrick’s Day. Or, as we know it, ‘The Playin’ O’ the...

So years ago someone – online, meatspace, I forget – once said “Ah, St. Patrick’s Day. Or, as we know it, ‘The Playin’ O’ the Dropkick Murphys’” and that’s stuck with me ever since

Tagged: holidays

Police Navidad.

kontextmaschine:

Police Navidad.

Tagged: holidays

SQUANTO

theauthorman:

thegarbagechan:

pokepokepokeyzone:

SQUANTO

IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN

thanksgiving is a time to squanto

Tagged: holidays

It’s Exploding Whale Day

It’s Exploding Whale Day

Tagged: oregonoregonoregon holidays

Tagged: holidays

The first American? No, not quite. But Columbus was brave, and he was bright.

The first American? No, not quite.
But Columbus was brave, and he was bright.

Tagged: holidays

I’m reading on old superstitions and: “Do not go out collecting nuts on Sept 14th, holy Rood Day, as the devil will be out...

yomozukis:

yomozukis:

I’m reading on old superstitions and:
“Do not go out collecting nuts on Sept 14th, holy Rood Day, as the devil will be out nutting too!”
September 14th: the day the Devil nuts

HAPPY DEVIL NUT DAY

Tagged: holidays

I can’t share the full extent of this ad cuz it’s animated, but click on it if you see it is starts with the text “Story of...

I can’t share the full extent of this ad cuz it’s animated, but click on it if you see it

is starts with the text “Story of Every Empowered Women of Today!” and goes on to Flash-animate a story of mothers and professional daughters, encouraging you use their site to book flight tickets to visit your mom for International Women’s Day

except the animation is 2003 Newgrounds-level with no sense of timing and the dialogue feels acceptably translated from Cantonese and even the twee ukulele music sounds subpar

Ends with the text

A Big Shout Out to all the Working
Women Across The World

and is the most #2017 #capitalpunk shit I’ve seen yet

Tagged: 2017 capitalpunk this is an ad on tumblr dot com holidays

my strangest legacy - in high school, for one reason or another (I can’t remember) my friends and I wrote “34 days until March...

catceleste:

sunlesssunflower:

catceleste:

catceleste:

my strangest legacy - in high school, for one reason or another (I can’t remember) my friends and I wrote “34 days until March 2nd” on the whiteboard in the drama classroom. It was completely arbitrary but we kept it it up, “30 days until March 2nd”  ”23 days until March 2nd” etc. It spread around enough that the entire school is buzzing about what is going to happen on March 2nd. We figure we should think of something and decide to bring in cake. There were about 13 of us in total committed to bringing a cake. On March 2nd, during 3rd period lunch we all entered the cafeteria in a line (the parade of the cakes) and laid them out—a grand cake buffet for everyone in that lunch period. We did it the next year. And after we graduated it kept going.

This past March 2nd was the 9th year they’ve done it. It’s become a school sponsored event. There are t-shirts for this thing every year. March 2nd is cake day. I am a god. 

my former teacher sent me a package. it’s the 10th anniversary this year. they’re already getting ready for march 2nd. it’s january.

image

It’s this time of the year again :)

11th year this year. more than a decade of cake day

Tagged: holidays

Woo, Inauguration Day, show us your tits!

Tagged: holidays inauguration

Woo, Epiphany, show us your tits!

Woo, Epiphany, show us your tits!

Tagged: holidays

figgy pudding as a transitional demand

kropotkitten:

class-struggle-anarchism:

figgy pudding as a transitional demand

the cool thing about that song is it is a relic from when Christmas was bad ass before Washington Irving made it into the family-friendly holiday it is today. Before Irving created Christmas of today from nothing it was a drunken feast when rioting was common. Basically people would go out into the streets, get drunk, and throw snowballs at each other and shop windows. Sometimes the police would break it up but this would just make the celebrants escalate into riot. 

In 1828, a particularly violent Christmas riot in New York led the city to institute its first professional police force.

Christmas celebrations in 1800 owed more to the midwinter worship of Saturn and Bacchus than to Christ. By the second century, the Romans were regularly feasting, drinking, and cavorting like satyrs from December 17, the first day of Saturnalia, to January First. They also decorated their houses with evergreen boughs.

In the fourth century, Christians began to celebrate Christ’s birth on December 25, the winter solstice on the Roman calendar. This was a partly way to meet the challenge of pagan cults. The church tacitly agreed to let the holiday be celebrated more or less as it always was. The Christmas celebration that arose in Medieval Europe was an occasion for excess and extravagance, public lewdness, and violations of social order. In medieval and early modern Europe, celebrants often elected a “Lord of Misrule” to preside over these annual revels. In one episode in 1637 in England, the crowd gave the Lord of Misrule a wife in a public marriage service conducted by a fellow reveler posing as a minister. The affair was consummated on the spot! No wonder, New England Puritans sought to criminalize this rowdy affair.

Puritans were particularly upset by two irksome Christmas practices: One was mumming, the exchange of clothes between men and women; and even worst was the outbreak of rioting, drunkenness, and fornication. It was this raucous celebration that the New England Puritans tried to kill.

But despite the Puritans’ best efforts, Christmas in America became an excuse for dangerous hell raising. At Christmastime, men drank rum, fired muskets wildly, and costumed themselves in animal pelts or women’s clothes - crossing species and gender. In New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and other cities, they formed Callithumpian parades, which involved beating on the kettles, blowing on penny trumpets and tin horns, and setting off firecrackers.

Then, during the early 1800s, Christmas became a cultural battleground. During the early 1800s, evangelical Protestants challenged the popular Christmas. They called for a shorter, more refined, more family-centered celebration at the end of the year, one that would banish “what is sensual and low, and very close to vice itself in the existing Saturnalia.”

So in reality, the “war on christmas” was actually waged by Puritans and later by protestants who thought it was too wild and needed to be tamed and so invented whole sale bullshit to replace the drunken, sex-filled, riotous feast it once was.

Make Christmas Libidinal Again

The general tendency of folk holidays in the absence of external pressure is to develop towards “drunken anarchy festival” and I think that’s beautiful

Tagged: holidays