the fact is that man can and as we’re seeing here does generate actual geopolitical power by staging photo ops like an airbrushed van and that’s great

(in re:)

Nah it’s not that small breasts are inherently fucked up, it’s… okay.

A lot of classic pinball art, like comic books and airbushed vans, seems to come from artists without formal training, who just started doodling on lined notebook paper and kept going, without ever actually drawing from life or studying anatomy.

(Wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of them also *were* comic book and airbushed van artists. Like, Christ.)

((Also not to say that drawing from life is always perfect - $20 says the faces on the Paragon backglass were based on the artist’s suburban ‘70s mom and dad))

And, like, there’s nothing fucked up about large breasts either (my particular thing is up higher - collarbones, shoulders, shoulderblades, but I appreciate a nice rack as much as anyone), but for something so beloved in pinball culture (that’s not even getting into the fanmade “alternate” backglasses and translites on pinside), they sure do get fucked up a lot - perfectly spherical, too high, no sense of gravity or mass even when they’re specifically depicted braless.

And in Cheetah’s case, it looks like someone started with larger breasts and then just reduced size linearily to go for a sleek cheetahlike look without factoring in, like, fabric tension or the thoracic wall or adipose tissue vs. glandular tissue. So you get these kind of uncanny valley breasts.

“Uncanny cleavage”. Okay, I impressed even myself with that one.

Like, look at these pictures of actual humans for comparison. This one is maybe the closest to justifying it, but that’s with padding and straps and retouching.

I mean not like I could do any better, my artistic medium is words.

In somewhat related news, the two most #seapunk #misandry-themed pinball tables.

In further related news, butts.