kontextmaschine:

kontextmaschine:

So one take-away from the personality change maybe making me unautistic is that the antonym of “ask culture” isn’t guess culture, they’re not (now I’m not) guessing, there really is some sort of interpersonal signal they’re (we’re) picking up.

But it’s not like an information-carrying signal, or at least one that gets delivered to the consciousness, it’s not like as if where before I’d be like “oh I want to make a romantic move but I don’t know the right moment” I pay attention to the signal and it tells me what the right moment is and so I can decide to do it then.

What it is is that being attuned to this signal, I will make that move at some point that happens to be the ideal moment, without ever having specifically considered and decided on that.

I dunno, maybe this is what instinct is? Whereas previously I had thought of it in terms of information (like “this is the moment”) arriving without any obvious source that would then serve as an input to the same conscious decisionmaking process?

Like I have no idea what the mechanism is here. Is it just checking for the most ideal moment I’m likely to get, or the first time I cross some threshold such as to expect it be well-received? Can I fake it into false starts with local maxima? To be determined.

Suddenly struck by what an autistic way of thought this investigation into not being autistic is proceeding under

So anyway, my sense now (since Covid went “long” in my brain, destroyed my personality, and left me to form a new one, from perspective of which I realized the old one had been well-“masked” autistic) is that autism is a matter of the personality constructing itself such that it has no role for pre-rational, pre-human “animal instinct”, and thus must do everything (including further self-construction) by conscious logic alone

(Like, I don’t know how social species without language would organize themselves if they couldn’t parse each others’ feelings directly, and we come from a long line of such species)

kontextmaschine:

I suppose one possible takeaway from these past few years its that vaccines prevent the childhood neurological infections we’re coevolved with, so instead our development manifests as autism

This hypothesis would account for why autism is so often found alongside high intelligence, as a symptom of healthy, disease-free brain development

xrd:

Honestly I have upgraded “autism” in terms of qualities to look for in a girl a lot in the last few years

so how much of “ooh, autism” is that we prenatally test and abort the Downs kids &ct now and need to slot someone else in that role?