{"version": "1.0", "type": "rich", "title": "That thing where people claim to be flattered for being carded for alcohol? I didn\u2019t get that. \n\n I\u2019m pretty levelheaded, I\u2019m...", "author_name": "kontextmaschine", "author_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "provider_name": "kontextmaschine", "provider_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "url": "https://kontextmaschine.com/post/96248665428/", "html": "<p>That thing where people claim to be flattered for being carded for alcohol? I didn\u2019t get that. </p>\n\n<p>I\u2019m pretty levelheaded, I\u2019m good at talking my way through tense situations, I\u2019m decently massive, I know how to fight. And I\u2019d <em>love</em> if things were arranged so I could just go out and strangers felt compelled to come talk to me.</p>\n\n<p>People tell me I should be a bouncer. My roommate was a doorman. But when I was 13, I was <em>infuriated</em> by the way adults brushed off kids, didn\u2019t take them seriously, tried to gatekeep them from the world. I swore I\u2019d never take up the position of rejecting people for being too young. And I take my promises seriously.</p>\n\n<p>Just went to Beulahland. There was a crowd outside, younger than usual. Don\u2019t know if it was the holiday weekend, the kids back in town for college, what. Buff dude standing by the door with his arms crossed. </p>\n\n<p>Ask him if he\u2019s the door, he looks confused, then apologetic. No. Guy sitting by the side says <em>he</em> is. Go to get out my license and he laughs. \u201cYeah, you\u2019re a grownup.\u201d</p>\n\n<p>I laugh, haha, look at us here. Go in. A second through the door, I stop. \u201cWait, <em>fuck me</em>.\u201d</p>"}