Saw Guardians of the Galaxy today. Eeeeh, I dunno. Very impressive visually - every long shot had plenty of stuff going on at once including establishing shots that looked like old fashioned matte backgrounds but fully animated in 3D. Closer shots had all sorts of nifty action effects though nothing that really sticks with you, all of it in vibrant colors. Fun throwaway worldbuilding-by-implication.

That said a lot of the buzz was like “it’s a superhero movie with all that entails, but it makes up for it in decent writing and self-awareness” and that’s not remotely true. Plotting, characterization, thematics, dialogue, are all written as if by an 8th grade lunch table, for an 8th grade lunch table. Two hours later and I can remember maybe one line to quote, and that might be more from a gifset.

No subtext at all to character interaction, what of a “romantic” subplot there is consists of literally throwing characters into physical contact, for the benefit of an audience that knows it’s supposed to want to rub up against other people but isn’t quite sure why yet. The actors’ delivery of those ridiculous lines is balanced between playing it straight for effect and hamming it up, delivering the charm of neither. Early ‘80s aesthetics invoked for lolrandom quirk value. (People with actual early '80s nostalgia are now in their 40s at least.)

A lot of the worst exposition seems done as a down payment towards the sequels - both the direct one and whatever Marvel pic has to carry the next bit of the Infinity Gems super-arc. Interesting premise, interesting setting, but it would be nice to see it all given more room to breathe. Though I suppose if my takeaway was “I would like a chance to explore this brand in greater depth” the Marvel branch of the Walt Disney Industrial Mass Culture Concern isn’t going to feel too sad.

“An inferior Fifth Element”, meant as lukewarm praise.