Now I’m not entirely on board with monetizeyourcat’s transmarxist project - a fellow traveler at best - but there’s one thing she said a bit ago that’s really stuck with me and I’ve found invaluable in understanding things. And that’s that there exists a dynamic whereby while women’s love is commonly expressed as labor - to serve, comfort, and pleasure their friends/lovers/family, men’s love is often expressed as management - in efforts to judge, discipline, lead the people they care for.

Another thing that’s stuck with me is the PUA trope that the best strategy to pique romantic interest in a woman is by immediately establishing and subsequently maintaining a pose of authority over her - passing judgement (as “negging”), making decisions without seeking input (while “behind the scenes” actually devoting quite a bit of attention to their sensibility), etc. If this isn’t true, well, it does seem to deliver results as if.

And, you know, you’d think the two ideologies were in opposition - the people who subscribe to each certainly define themselves against each other - but they aren’t incompatible at all, are they? Bang them together and the result is “the best strategy to pique romantic interest in a (straight) woman is by expressing your love for her in a masculine register”. Which really is what a lot of the PUA audience seems to have wanted, and as “nice guys” thought they were doing, all along.