I’ve basically had some sort of lesbian magnetism ever since I was peers with people who were old enough to have sexual identities - Meg Semisch in 6th grade when I had to walk up to the middle school to take Algebra I. I’ve mentioned before that in elementary school I identified as female for a bit and maybe there’s some sort of vibe from that, but even after that I remember calling myself a lesbian after that - jokingly, references to the Island of Lesbos, but now that I think of it “jokingly” in a way that didn’t really have any humor payoff and that’s kind of interesting.

Part of it’s just a genderbent version of the stereotypical fag/hag dyad - I can come with relationship issues and get advice from the position of “as someone romanced as a woman, let me explain some dynamics that might not be obvious/as someone who romances women, let me commiserate with you that bitches are crazy”. But even sitting at a bar next to some lesbian stranger, chances are decent that within an hour we’ll be buying each other shots and laughing our asses off.

I’ve actually gotten more cautious about that in the last few years, after a few times when I’ve opened up significantly in the expectation that sex was safely off the table and then had that rug pulled out. Which was itself interesting! To have, as a straight guy, that experience of “Oh I thought when you said ‘watch a movie’ you really meant watch a movie, but now I’m drunk at your house with no way of getting home and you’re running your hand up my thigh.” I think part of what really threw me about it was just the lack of a script to deal with. If a girl flirts with me in front of her guy, depending on whether he looks happy or angry I can kind of figure out what’s going on, and how to respond so as to bring about whatever desired outcome, but to hang out with a girl, and her girl, and then all of a sudden she’s getting up on me it’s totally fish out of water.