monetizeyourcat-blog:

i definitely think so. my actual opinion is that we experience libidos which are essentially unstructured and structure them in ways that correspond to what is traditionally thought of as “orientation” both consciously and unconsciously. those structures change throughout our lives as a matter of course, although it’s wholly legitimate for them not to.

the best way i have been able to put it is that i consider heterosexuality a choice and a bad one. i consider not being heterosexual - that is, not repressing socially maladaptive libidinal output towards the “same sex”, not sublimating it into competition and hostility - a good one, and a possible one.

for myself, i choose not to indulge fantasies about relationships with or emotional intimacy with men because they have historically been dangerous and disrespectful and exploitative to me as a woman. i consider homosexual behavior and homosexual love more inherently valuable, especially love - physical love, sisterly love, motherly love - between women.

this is something that absolutely can change. life circumstances change, and if i wanted to i could abandon it, could open those particular floodgates.

i don’t think i am inherently a lesbian. are there inherent things about me that prod me that way? yeah, maybe. at least very deep-rooted. but also i’m pretty happy with that as something i’m doing right now.

i don’t feel like i need to be more than happy with it being the way things are for me right now to have a legitimate claim to “being a lesbian” or a legitimate use for that label

I’ve always been a canary to zeitgeist and before tumblr - before lj even - I was A Teen who thought being what’s now called pan would be the *best* lifehack.

Also my curiosity was piqued by bi furry pics on alt.binaries.pictures.cartoons.erotica(.moderated)

Then things happened and it’s like “man it’s like giving someone a massage with your mouth while they choke you and if there’s people into that - and there are - they obviously got something else going on”

Also when I was ramping off that (also from 2nd-4th grade I identified as female, but that might part be from getting poor reception from my unpolished self and noticing girls could wield vulnerable neediness) I thought being poly was the *best* straight male binarist lifehack,

Now I live in Portland, as punishment/reward for my sins.