kontextmaschine:

Hm, no yeah I’m pretty sure the mania did fire prematurely and proportionately weaker AND it’s doing the “anxiety returns” variant is I don’t have an anxiety disorder now, but I am able to experience anxiety again (and thus shame, guilt, regret, etc.)

So in totality this is novel - I’m not always finding negative angles to things but I do dwell on particularly unpleasant ones, my outlook for the course of events isn’t really more negative – I don’t see any new threats – but not immune – I’m not as expectant there won’t be threats –and certainly less golden sunshine day positive.

Though I do see a potential for a good future broader than what I thought of as “the sun-dappled clearing”

Also less eye-rolling about people drawing negativity from contemporary trends or events – there’s some bad shit going on!

Oh, this also means I miss the absence of a romantic partner again – it’s actually a whole new vista, thinking about romance under a normal anxiety regime.

Really does feel like some Binding of Isaac-ass shit where I cleared normal mania enough times I got moved on to a whole new level and when it was through my manias came with random modifiers each time. Keeps the gameplay experience fresh.

This is better than the anxiety disorder by a bit, but honestly the zeroed anxiety is best.