God, thinking about that one bar fight, how afterwards these two 250-pound Black guys in black sweaters and beanies, CLEARLY the bouncers, came up to me after and I was like “welp”

And one clapped a meaty hand on my shoulder and I was like “welp”

And he was like “was that dude fucking with you?”

And I was like “that dude WAS fucking with me!”

And he was like “aight, go get yourself a drink”

And they picked the guy up, and walked him one on each arm to the stairs coming up to the second-story dancefloor and I was like “I don’t know HOW they’re all going to fit down that”

So they just paused at the top and pitched him down