Can you elaborate on how covid changed your brain?
Just one day going to Subway a month or more after infection the world seemed unreal like I was on acid and my voice sounded insane, early on was depersonalization and even derealization but also a severe disinhibition, honestly a lot of details of this part are lost to me because a major aspect was memory issues, I simply wasn’t forming memories in the first place and was sort of operating on autopilot like blackout drunks do.
As it progressed it affected my sense of emotion and also a lot of parts involved in conceptualizing movement in 3D space. I had maybe 20% capacity to use my limbs in a controlled manner \u2013 I stumbled around the house holding myself up on furniture and completely failing to grasp the correct manipulation of food packaging, unable to mentally rotate objects (at one point I had to carry a flagpole through a door by trial and error) My arms constantly felt like lightning was running the length of them but were otherwise numb.
Early on it utterly paved flat my mental facilities for anxiety, revealing in retrospect that I had clearly built my life around an anxiety disorder, without them I am physically incapable of feeling guilt, shame, loss, regret, or terror (death-fear). There is now no length without contact at which I begin to feel rejected by others.
The bisexuality, yes. I suspect that’s actually related to the disinhibition somehow, which has now stabilized to the point I’m not feeling up strangers in bars when I get the whim, but I’m much more open and at ease than I was.
After a year and a half this started to retreat. The personality changes are permanent, also I see in true stereoscopic 3D and walk without flat feet now, I think to some degree I lost the functionality there and when I relearned it got it better. The memory, mental and physical motion issues cleared but they briefly return at lower levels with later Covid infections.
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