Been contemplating my mortality lately but with the anxiety-zeroing I have no fear of death and if I start to worry about...
Been contemplating my mortality lately but with the anxiety-zeroing I have no fear of death and if I start to worry about physical decay I remind myself that I have direct experience of motor and mental collapse and it’s not really that bad, but the finitude of it all still bugs me – the idea that I might only have as much more life experience ahead of me as I already do behind is devastating, even if the fact that’s because it will be followed by eternal oblivion is just a footnote.
So, I’m basically having a very Zen midlife crisis right now.
The annoying thing is I already independently determined to start spending more money on nice things and cultivating a social crowd two decades my junior after the personality change, but now no one’s gonna believe me.