kontextmaschine:

kontextmaschine:

Yeah, I hope it’s not a “the real mania was the heightened awareness and sensitivity to mania we cultivated along the way!” thing

I wanna get properly maniacal. You lean into being crazy, you get to treat it like an occasional vacation.

I… I really think that might’ve been it. Like, it was rough staying asleep for a few days and I was somewhat more active and cheeky here but there was no sense of the wave breaking, no real pressured speech/text, and now the sense of building pressure and something looming are all gone.

I mean I guess I’ll take it over the last Summer AnxietyFest, is this just what it’s like to not be bipolar, you have a mood cycle (that you’re maybe not in the habit of tracking closely) but it just never crests, it peaks feeling a bit agitated and then recedes?