{"version": "1.0", "type": "rich", "title": "so after a meditation retreat in September I saw the light and realized that the effects I thought social media had on my...", "author_name": "kontextmaschine", "author_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "provider_name": "kontextmaschine", "provider_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "url": "https://kontextmaschine.com/post/702335785541713920/", "html": "
so after a meditation retreat in September I saw the light and realized that the effects I thought social media had on my attention span were a health emergency I could not afford to ignore and went on a strict 4.6h/week regimen. This lasted for six weeks, I changed for the better in predictable ways (reading more books), and also turned into a binge drinker. It turns out that my brain expects a certain amount of entertainment and socialization, and if it can\u2019t post bullshit constantly or talk to people on Discord 4h/day, I will go to parties I only kind of want to attend (just because they\u2019re happening NOW and I want stimulation NOW) and drinking too much.
This has been a humbling experience.
(Also, in addition to alcohol expenses, I spent too much money on the books, so my budget definitely didn\u2019t like my attempt to evolve as a human being)
\n
3 weeks after making the above post, I have a new hypothesis: Lexapro is making me slightly manic. (Hypomania is a thing that happens to me sometimes anyway when I\u2019m sleep deprived, or just out of the blue after I read too much fanfiction, so I didn\u2019t think it was too unusual.)
I went on the social media break at the same time I went on Lexapro, and even after coming back to social media, the drinking urges continue. So does an unusual amount of internet shopping, which I thought was because I was buying new clothes for the\u2026 er\u2026 clubbing habit I\u2019ve picked up in the past few months\u2026
Blue line: \u201cday x" => \u201cduring the 7 day interval centered at day x, how many days were days when I had 3 or more drinks\u201d
Red line: Lexapro dosage, scaled to have the same range as the drinking \u2013 2 means 20mg
\n\n\n
Heh that\u2019s the antidepressant I went on, noticed within the 4-6 week window it made my anxiety worse, waited till the 6 weeks or something to confirm I was still as depressed, and went off it. It was straight up \u201cmy anxiety, but more of it\u201d, which I suppose you might argue for me would probably accompany mania but I just noticed anxiety.
\n
I think it was mostly because I had been misdiagnosed as unipolar depressive, but when I spent a month on Lexapro it made me nuts and part of it was giving me a taste for straight brown liquor
![\"image\"](\"/media/f6aea06f5cec0533a9dedc540ef237969bf6a4f5_39b869f425b8.png\")