\nSo anyway, my sense now (since Covid went “long” in my brain, destroyed my personality, and left me to form a new one, from perspective of which I realized the old one had been well-“masked” autistic) is that autism is a matter of the personality constructing itself such that it has no role for pre-rational, pre-human “animal instinct”, and thus must do everything (including further self-construction) by conscious logic alone
(Like, I don’t know how social species without language would organize themselves if they couldn’t parse each others’ feelings directly, and we come from a long line of such species)
This also means that autism and sexuality (the old personality was heterosexual, this one’s bi) aren’t set at birth (and thus conceivably might be externally influencable), but are set prerationally and aren’t consciously (or possibly at all) changeable within an established personality
Also another insight I’ve picked up is the reason for all the transbians and manly-men late-life transitioners and yaoi fujoshi turned trans men is it’s absolutely a Kinsey 0 thing, it’s not so much autogyne/androphilia as a fetish as you only see value in the opposite from your birth sex yet you want to see value in yourself
Since I’ve been bi I’ve absolutely had “gender euphoria” about inhabiting a male body like I didn’t before, and it makes me realize this is what I wanted identifying as a girl (a lesbian, even!) in adolescence in the 90s. If there was some treatment available that made you bi honestly I’d recommend that over gender transition but there isn’t.
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