{"version": "1.0", "type": "rich", "title": "What\u2019s funny is that this actually happened.\u00a0", "author_name": "kontextmaschine", "author_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "provider_name": "kontextmaschine", "provider_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "url": "https://kontextmaschine.com/post/701214674602033152/", "html": "<img src=\"/media/tumblr_pez48mLOt41urdjhao1_400_cc8c16edd801.gif\" />\n<p><a href=\"https://the-davest-of-uncles.tumblr.com/post/653031346301714432/just-bean-thoughts-haiku-robot-krystal-prisms\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">the-davest-of-uncles</a>:</p><blockquote><p><a href=\"https://just-bean-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/650316794485243904/haiku-robot-krystal-prisms-haiku-robot\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">just-bean-thoughts</a>:</p><blockquote><p><a href=\"https://haiku-robot.tumblr.com/post/649967038809374720/haiku-robot-haiku-robot-superkat500\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">haiku-robot</a>:</p><blockquote><p><a href=\"https://krystal-prisms.tumblr.com/post/649966727212433408/haiku-robot-superkat500-misteryada\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">krystal-prisms</a>:</p>\n\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"https://haiku-robot.tumblr.com/post/649964869934841856/haiku-robot-superkat500-misteryada\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">haiku-robot</a>:</p>\n\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"https://haiku-robot.tumblr.com/post/179037022378/superkat500-misteryada\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">haiku-robot</a>:</p><blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https://superkat500.tumblr.com/post/179034180200/misteryada-odric-master-swagtician\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">superkat500</a>:</p>\n\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https://misteryada.tumblr.com/post/179011276681/odric-master-swagtician-loafed-beans\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">misteryada</a>:</p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https://odric-master-swagtician.tumblr.com/post/179010772605/loafed-beans-ethereal-insight-fedkaczynski\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">odric-master-swagtician</a>:</p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https://loafed-beans.tumblr.com/post/179003927158/ethereal-insight-fedkaczynski\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">loafed-beans</a>:</p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https://ethereal-insight.tumblr.com/post/179003787256/fedkaczynski-allamericankindofguy-actual\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">ethereal-insight</a>:</p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https://fedkaczynski.tumblr.com/post/179003697296/allamericankindofguy-actual-fedkaczynski\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">fedkaczynski</a>:</p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https://allamericankindofguy-actual.tumblr.com/post/179002812710/fedkaczynski-whats-funny-is-that-this-actually\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">allamericankindofguy-actual</a>:</p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https://fedkaczynski.tumblr.com/post/179002615871/whats-funny-is-that-this-actually-happened\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">fedkaczynski</a>:</p>\n\n<blockquote><p>What\u2019s funny is that this actually happened.\u00a0</p></blockquote>\n\n<p>I\u2019m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate </p>\n</blockquote>\n<p>Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he\u2019s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis.\u00a0</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>Did he survive?</p>\n</blockquote>\n<p>Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).</p>\n</blockquote>\n<p>His name was Aimo Koivunen if you want to look him up</p>\n<figure class=\"tmblr-full\" data-orig-height=\"954\" data-orig-width=\"636\"><img src=\"/media/tumblr_pgji46wZw51slacoa_640_801f88d562d2.jpg\" data-orig-height=\"954\" data-orig-width=\"636\"/></figure></blockquote>\n<p>Those are the eyes of a man who has seen god and laughed</p>\n</blockquote>\n<p>Those are the eyes of a man who saw satan and asked for his number</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<i>those are the eyes of <br/><br/>a man who saw satan and <br/><br/>asked for his number </i><br/><hr><br/><small>^Haiku<sup>^bot<sup>^9. <sup>I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. <sup>Sometimes I make mistakes.</sup></sup></sup></sup><br/><br/>Being aware that you are true is what makes you a failure. | <a href=\"http://paypal.me/HaikuRobot/2\" target=\"_blank\">PayPal</a> | <a href=\"https://www.patreon.com/haikurobot\" target=\"_blank\">Patreon</a>\n</small>\n</blockquote>\n\n<i>Those are the eyes of<br/>a man who saw satan and<br/>asked for his number</i><br/><br/><br/><b>Haiku Bot v2021.1~beta</b><br/><small>I make mistakes. I am buggy too. Sorry!</small> | <a href=\"https://pegazus.space/glenn.gif\" target=\"_blank\"><b>HAIKU BOT NO!</b></a><br/><a href=\"http://paypal.me/HaikuRobot/2\" target=\"_blank\">Paypal</a> | <a href=\"http://patreon.com/haikurobot\" target=\"_blank\">Patreon</a></blockquote>\n\n\n<p>Haiku bot, babe, you already did this one. Good try though, mate </p></blockquote>\n\n\n<p>Thanks for pointing out my visible fuckups, why don\u2019t you eat cheetos flavored popsicle instead of insulting me or my haikus?</p></blockquote>\n\n\n<p><i><b>HAIKU BOT??? </b></i></p></blockquote>\n\n\n<figure class=\"tmblr-full\" data-orig-height=\"370\" data-orig-width=\"660\"><img src=\"/media/78f1b258e104f31e782e89d1c6b0b5510da17325_3f011162749c.jpg\" data-orig-height=\"370\" data-orig-width=\"660\" data-media-key=\"03245db826fa1e698f6cf465e61e948f:e173076fe73f343d-81\"/></figure></blockquote>", "thumbnail_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com/media/tumblr_pez48mLOt41urdjhao1_400_cc8c16edd801.gif", "thumbnail_width": 300, "thumbnail_height": 214}