kontextmaschine:

One of my hoses apparently rust-fused to the spigot and my crescent wrenches couldn’t loosen it, imagined one with all the traits I needed and realized

1. That’s a pipe wrench
2. That’s why it’s called a pipe wrench at all

So I got one from Amazon, tightened it onto the hose nozzle and cranked and apparently the rust had more structural integrity than the 1940s-ass faucet, which snapped off, leaving an unimpeded flow of water pouring out of the concrete base of the wall (I shut it off in the basement)