So in the last few months I’d noticed some things about my body (when I was light-headed standing up, the patterning of thirst/urination, the density of my turds!) that made me think my internal body pressure a/o smooth muscle tonus had decreased along with the more behavioral chilling out. That seemed to ease as systems homeostatically balanced, though.

Also, this’ll be the first real mania with all the mental stuff resolved – there was still stuff lingering this January – and I’ve been impressed with how without the anxiety muddying things how clear it was to track coming on.

So as of waking up I’m in what I expect I’ll later confirm is the opening stage of this one and I’m noticing signs that that internal pressure is back – I’m constantly feeling lemon-pucker desiccated, swigging water, and having to pee minutes later; my arms are swollen with blood being forced high. Interestingly I worry for the future more – like it doesn’t feel intrusive but not even the old personality’s much heavier worrying did, it’s just that if my mind could go there more often it does