resinsculpture-deactivated20221:

I feel like most people understand this, but: “We should be more socially accepting of [weakness/vulnerability/etc]” is not in fact a zero-tradeoff choice. There’s a pretty severe tradeoff! While it’s better to be kind and generous than to be cruel and miserly, it’s also better to be strong than weak, better to be capable than incompetent, better to be stoic than fragile. Like a lot of other traits, for some people weakness, incompetence, and emotional fragility are innate and immutable, but many more people are somewhere on the borderline. What is rewarded in a particular environment impacts how people behave and what skills they develop.

People should be allowed to excuse themselves from activities that frighten them, for example, but the idea that there should be no shame or stigma attached to this option is outrageous. Bravery is difficult for many people and, for exactly that reason, it’s worth encouraging and celebrating it.

There is, in fact, a very direct tradeoff between nurturing the most vulnerable and building a society of skillful, competent, and courageous citizens. There are good arguments for and against different points on that tradeoff curve, but the tradeoff is very real.