iteratedextras:

Right-Wing: “So, you’re going to stop taking sides against us.  If you can’t side with us, you’re just going to shut up.”

Corporate HR: “Excuse me, but haven’t you lost the culture war like every time?  We’re not going to obey someone who’s clearly on the Wrong Side of History™.  What are you going to do, boycott us?  Don’t make me laugh.”

Left-Wing: “Wait did she just put a trademark symbol on ‘History’?  I thought we were the ones in charge of determining the meaning of histor-”

Right-Wing: “Boycott?  I don’t think you understand.  The situation has changed.”

Right-Wing * points a gun at Mickey Mouse. *

Right-Wing: “In sport-fighting, your goal is merely to win the round.  Once the round is over, you no longer fight.  Gay marriage, abortion… we attacked these things with laws, then shook hands and grumbled after we lost the match.”

Left-Wing: “Now hold on a minute-”

Right-Wing: “But that’s not war.”

Right-Wing: “In war, your goal is to break the enemy’s will or ability to fight.  In war, you bomb the enemy’s factories, warehouses, railroad bridges and safehouses.  You capture depots and take over mines to deny the enemy resources.”

Right-Wing: “You, as corporate HR, parrot Mr. Left-Wing’s point of view, because Mr. Left-Wing thinks he has been fighting a culture war.  He leisurely creates institutional positions to reward to his own men.”

Left-Wing: “That’s not fair!  Corporations don’t pay the wages we demand! Cops still beat up our guys!  This is a struggle for our right to exist!”

Right-Wing: “Yes, we are struggling against you for our right to exist.  You made that rather clear, didn’t you?  A ‘nazi’ is someone with whom compromise is impossible.  You claimed our very existence - without even action - was ‘oppressive.’  This is a culture war, now.”

Right-Wing: “Corporate, are you a neutral producer of industrial goods and services, or are you a piece of enemy infrastructure?”

Corporate: “Uh…”