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Your landed gentry self-mythologizing is actually correct in that your house is filthy, holy shit
\n\n\nGood help is hard to find these days
I assume that’s referring to this. Yeah, now that I’ve chopped off or pulled stuff I don’t want to waste spring growth on I don’t think I’m gonna get to planting those trees this year, so really cleaning the house has been the next thing, it’s still pretty grody but I leave it several big steps further on every night.
It helps that without the anxiety I don’t procrastinate or hesitate any more to throw stuff out that might not be trash loot, but it’s basically common.
Part of it is this place isn’t outfitted in anywhere close to its final form \u2013 I’ve been tumbling it in my mind while I attend to the yard and other things \u2013 so I’m not trying too hard to maintain it or particularly invested in the way it looks, also the old furnace/central air blows debris everywhere in the winter so unless I dusted in the previous four days it would mostly look like that.
Also like, you know how manic depression works? What you think’s been going on when I’m not manic?! Also, from a young age I trained myself to be completely comfortable with like,
(you know historically the tradition of giving kitchens white floors is they’d make dirt maximally visible? This was the same hygienic fad where linoleum got big and they bred those white supermarket mushrooms from brown [they’re immature portabellas!] and started swabbing hospital corridors with antiseptic)
Because if you’re really prissy and high anxiety and bipolar, you’re gonna have a bad time.
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