\nI don\u2019t trust most of the people extolling the virtues of \u201cfound family\u201d to actually have my back unconditionally the way my biological family would.
Your actual family generally can\u2019t like freeze you out for being \u201ctoxic\u201d. They can\u2019t have a little chat behind your back and decide they don\u2019t want you around anymore because someone feels \u201cuncomfortable\u201d.
I mean they can, and in rare cases they actually do. Some families are awful that way. But not with anything like the frequency with which the catty, bitchy hall monitors of SJ culture do this to each other.
Found family can work that way arrayed in the face of external hostility, queer subcultures were like that through the ‘90s (maybe even the '00s in areas) and the cultural attempt to hold continuity with that under a different correlation of forces explains a lot of how the 2010s fucked up.
"}