Here’s what I have learned about “healing crystals”
Crystals have powers. Why do they have powers? I asked some weird crystal healing websites.
It is because they have energy. What kind of energy? Vibrating energy. Vibrating faster is better.
I would not like to vibrate faster. I have anxiety. I move on from this for now.
The “crystal healing” websites (there are dozens) maintain that the vibrational energy powers of crystals come from their crystalline structures, made of a repeating lattice of molecules. Things that have a specific chemical composition in a lattice structure are crystals, which have powers.
This is okay. This is a scientifically accurate understanding of what a mineral is, except for the powers.
Having established a firm foundation of scientific understanding of what “crystal” means, the crystal healing websites immediately flush that understanding down a toilet of ignorance into the septic tank of stupid.
How? Firstly, many of the most commonly recommended “healing crystals” are stones that are definitionally not crystals. Lapis lazuli, obsidian, tiger’s eye, and opal are some of the most commonly recommended crystals that have powers. The problem is that the powers come from the specific chemical composition in a crystalline structure, and lapis lazuli, obsidian, tiger’s eye and opal don’t have a specific chemical composition in a crystalline structure. But the websites say they have powers anyway.
Wikipedia says opal is amorphous and has no crystalline structure. THAT MEANS NO POWERS! What is the truth? Make up your mind!
I am troubled further still. By what, you ask? Primarily the quartz.
I look at lists of the rocks that have powers. On them is clear quartz, smoky quartz, rose quartz, amethyst, aventurine, chalcedony, jasper, agate, citrine, and carnelian. What do all these things have in common? Being quartz! The base chemical composition that is in the repeating lattice structure is quartz. They are different because of impurities. I thought the impurities meant no powers. But all these quartzes have hella powers—different powers! What is the TRUTH?
What powers do the rocks have?
I have documented many powers:
Protection from psychic attacks
Healing the feminine nature
Aids in pursuit of the heavenly self
Manifesting
Aural cleansing
Cosmic healing
Reducing toxins
Psychic antenna
Protects your energy
Igniting passion between lovers
Treats hormonal migraines
Tapping into infinite wisdom
Raising cosmic consciousness
Protection from traffic accidents
Sharpen telepathy skills
Stimulates the chakric field
Strengthens the meridians in the body
Weight loss
Cell regeneration
Aids in recalling past lives
Helps with procrastination
Assists in accessing shamanic realms in the dream state
Activates Dragon energy
Enhances fertility
Attracts your soulmate
Connecting with celestial energy
Connects you to the matriarchal side of your lineage
Helps with high blood pressure
Heals trauma
Removes ghosts
Intuitively vibrates the energy you need
Locates energy blockages in the body
Feminine energy
Calms horses
Making stronger bones and teeth
Recharges your etheric battery with white light
Psychic abilities
Solidifies the strength and flow of love energy
Helps you transcend through your higher chakras
Gives you access to the magical secrets of Merlin
Makes ADHD symptoms subside
Protects against environmental pollution
Scares away energy vampires
Develops your clairvoyant abilities
Helps with claustrophobia
Helps you connect with angels
Helps you access the Akashic records
Soaks up negative energy
Reminds you to stop being bullied (???)
Transmutes negativity to positivity energy
Stores the energy of Jesus Christ consciousness
Shields from electromagnetic waves
Summons archangels
Helps autism
Holds the energy of time and space
It is too much to write. There are many, many, many others. Mostly, websites discuss more general powers, like “protection” or “manifesting.”
I visit many different websites, and I notice that they are all highly inconsistent about what powers each type of crystal appears to have.
So I quickly draw this chart:
Along the side I list major powers of crystals, along the top I list important crystals. Then I mark the boxes whenever one of the website mentions one of the powers as a major important quality of one of the crystals.
Online sources are both highly inconsistent in what crystals do and very broadly attribute their abilities. One website focuses on amethyst as one of the best cleansing stones, another says its main quality is unlocking psychic powers, and another says it is the calming stone. Smoky quartz is well-known for its protection qualities according to one site, well-known for being a calming stone according to another.
“Protection” and “clearing negative energies” seem to be attributable to practically all of them. “Calming” is also like a majority of the stones.
I begin to wonder why there aren’t any stones that make you feel worse. Where are the rocks that make you sexually frustrated, give you headaches, attract toxic people into your life, and put more ghosts in your house.
A few things are weirdly consistent:
Rose quartz is the Love Stone. It is also highly associated with women.
In addition to rose quartz, moonstone is a Woman Stone with Feminine Powers.
Black tourmaline protects you from electromagnetic radiation. If there is one thing the websites all agree upon, it is this.
But for the most part, the websites are all in a lot of disagreement over what the crystals do.
Friendly reminder that it is not a mistake that “invisible powers from specially resonating/emanating crystals/minerals” became a major theme of woo when, with things like radio, radar, and X-rays, that was in fact the cutting edge of technoscience
