Huh. I suddenly realize that I didn’t really develop a taste for *being desired* by men (I’m not joking when I say I relate to them as a top)

Whereas both my earlier desire to be treated as an object by women and I think my early, hard-hetero identification as female (because they were the ones I could feel as being of value and I wanted to find myself of value) were about myself as an object of desire

Uh, the sexualities developed under different psychological conditions to serve different psychological needs, I guess. I dunno if that helps you but I feel like your prompt was useful to me