When the whole personality change thing happened I was suddenly more aware of the sensation of my rectum and that felt a little too convenient re: the “being into guys, who fuck you in the ass” thing but I suppose made sense in the “being into guys, so more attentive to the sensory experience of the male body” way

Anyway I had already derived satisfaction from the sensation of filling and emptying my rectum of shit and I was kind of worried that was going to start getting sexualized but nope. I can’t tell what the disjuncture is or if it’s like how I have no interest in even queer boys I knew when I was straight because I’ve already mentally categorized the meaning of them to me