{"version": "1.0", "type": "rich", "title": "So... I found this and now it keeps coming to mind. You hear about \"life-changing writing advice\" all the time and usually its...", "author_name": "kontextmaschine", "author_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "provider_name": "kontextmaschine", "provider_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "url": "https://kontextmaschine.com/post/654464361228845056/", "html": "

fixyourwritinghabits:

mydetheturk:

heck-in-a-handbasket:

missroserose:

wafflewarriors:

So… I found this and now it keeps coming to mind. You hear about “life-changing writing advice” all the time and usually its really not\u2014but honestly this is it man.

I’m going to try it.

I love the lawyer metaphor, because whenever I see \u201cJohn knew that…\u201d in prose writing I immediately think \u201chow?\u00a0 How does he know it?\u201d\u00a0 Interrogate your witnesses.\u00a0 Cross-examine them.\u00a0 Make them explain their reasoning.\u00a0 It pays dividends.

All of this, but also feels/felt. My editor has forbidden me from using those and it\u2019s forced me to stretch my skills.

ok so it took me a good chunk of an hour, but i transcribed it:

Image ID: screenshot of text written by Chuck Palahniuk. Text is as follows:

Writing Advice: By Chuck Palahniuk

In Six seconds, you\u2019ll hate me. But in six months, you\u2019ll be a better writer.

From this point forward \u2013 at least for the next half year \u2013 you may not use \u201cthought\u201d verbs. These include: Thinks, Knows, Understands, Realizes, Believes, Wants, Remembers, Imagines, Desires, and a hundred others you love to use.

This list should also include: Loves and Hates

And it should include: Is and Has, but we\u2019ll get to those later.

Until some time around Christmas, you can\u2019t write: Kenny wondered if Monica didn\u2019t like him going out at night\u2026\u201d

Instead, you\u2019ll have to Un-pack that to something like: \u201cthe mornings after Kenny had stayed out, beyond the last bus, until he\u2019d had to bum a ride or pay for a cab and got home to find Monica faking sleep, faking because she never slept that quite, those mornings, she\u2019d only put her own cup of coffee in the microwave. Never his.\u201d

Instead of characters knowing anything, you must now present that allow the reader to know them. Instead of a character wanting something, you must now describe the thing so that the reader wants it.

Instead of saying: \u201cAdam knew Gwen liked him.\u201d You\u2019ll have to say: \u201cBetween classes, Gwen had always leaned on his locker when he\u2019d go to open it. She\u2019d roll her eyes and shove off with one foot, leaving a black heel-mark on the painted metal, but she also left the smell of her perfume. The combination lock would be warm from her butt. And the next break, Gwen would be leaned there, again.\u201d

In short, no more short cuts. Only specific sensory detail: action, smell, taste, sound, and feeling.

Typically, writers use \u201cthought\u201d verbs at the beginning of the paragraph (in this form, you can call them \u201cthesis statements\u201d and I\u2019ll rail against those, later). In a way, they state the intention of the paragraph. And what follows, illustrates them.

For Example:
\u201cBrenda knew she\u2019d never make the deadline, was backed up from the bridge, past the first eight or nine exits. Her cell phone battery was dead. At home, the dogs would need to go out, r there would be a mess to clean up. Plus, she\u2019d promised to water the plants for her neighbor\u2026\u201d

Do you see how the opening \u201cthesis statement\u201d steals the thunder of what follows? Don\u2019t do it.

If nothing else, cut the opening sentence and place it after all the others. Better yet, transplant it and change it to: Brenda would never make the deadline.

Thinking is abstract. Knowing and believing are intangible. Your story will always be stronger if you just show the physical actions and details of your characters and allow the reader to do the thinking and knowing. And loving and hating.

Don\u2019t tell your reader: \u201cLisa hated Tom.\u201d

Instead, make your case like a lawyer in court, detail by detail.

Present each piece of evidence. For example: \u201cDuring roll call, in the breath after the teacher said Tom\u2019s name, in that moment before he could answer, right then, Lisa would whisper-shout \u2018Butt Wipe,\u2019 just as Tom was saying, \u2018Here\u2019.\u201d

One of the most common mistakes that beginning writers make is leaving their characters alone. Writing, you may be alone. Reading, your audience may be alone. But your character should spend very, very little time alone. Because a solitary character starts thinking or worrying or wondering.

For example: Waiting for the bus, Mark started to worry about how long the trip would take\u2026\u201d

A better break down might be: \u201cThe schedule said the buss would come by at noon, but Mark\u2019s watch said it was already 11:57. You could see all the way down the road, as far as the Mall, and not see a bus. No doubt, the driver was parked at the turn-around, the far end of the line, taking a nap. The driver was kicked back, asleep, and Mark was going to be late. Or worse, the driver was drinking, and he\u2019d pull up drunk and charge Mark seventy-five cents for death in a fiery traffic accident\u2026\u201d

A character alone must lapse into fantasy or memory, but even then you can\u2019t use thought verbs or any of their abstract relatives.

Oh, and you can just forget about using the verbs forget and remember.

No more transitions such as: \u201cWanda remembered how Nelson used to brush her hair.\u201d

Instead: \u201cBack in their sophomore year, Nelson used to brush her hair with smooth, long strokes of his hand.\u201d

Again, Un-pack. Don\u2019t take short-cuts.

Better yet, get your character with another character, fast.

Get them together and get the action started. Let their actions and words show their thoughts. You \u2013 stay out of their heads.

And while you\u2019re avoiding \u201cthought\u201d verbs, be very wary about sing the bland verbs \u201cis\u201d and \u201chave\u201d.

For example:

\u201cAnn\u2019s eyes are blue.\u201d

\u201cAnn has blue eyes.\u201d

Versus:

\u201cAnn coughed and waved one hand past her face, clearing the cigarette smoke from her eyes, blue eyes, before she smiled\u2026\u201d

Instead of the bland \u201cis\u201d and \u201chas\u201d statements, try burying your details of what a character has or is, in actions or gestures. At its most basic, this is showing your story instead of telling it.

And forever after, once you\u2019ve learned to Un-pack your characters, you\u2019ll hate the lazy writer who settles for: \u201cJim sat beside the telephone, wondering why Amanda didn\u2019t call.\u201d

Please. For now, hate me all you want, but don\u2019t use thought verbs. After Christmas, go crazy, but I\u2019d bet money you won\u2019t.

(\u2026)

For this month\u2019s homework, pick through your writing and circle every \u201cthought\u201d verb. Then, find some way to eliminate it. Kill it by Un-packing it.

Then, pick through some published fiction and do the same thing. Be ruthless.

\u201cMarty imagined fish, jumping in the moonlight\u2026\u201d

\u201cNancy recalled the way the wine tasted\u2026\u201d

\u201cLarry knew he was a dead man\u2026\u201d

Find them. After that, find a way to re-write them. Make them stronger.

Thank you for your transcription service, @mydetheturk\u200b!

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