for most of my life I’ve had this script in my head for a skit that would only make sense on SNL in like 1987, like
INT. - JAPANESE FACTORY - DAY
Two WORKERS look offscreen at a horrible haywire accident
Worker 1: oh no!
Worker 2: oh NO!
Worker 1: [pointing off] oh no, Mr. Ono*!
CUT TO:
INT. - FACTORY HALLWAY - CONT.
An older man wearing a supervisor’s outfit, MR. ONO, shuffles cheerfully down a long hall
Mr. Ono: [now he’s a quarter of the way down the hall]
Mr. Ono: [now it’s halfway]
Mr. Ono: [by this point the elder figure is three-quarters of the way there]
INT. - JAPANESE FACTORY - CONT.
Mr. Ono cheerfully walks through the door, then follows the workers’ gaze to the accident. His face falls.
Mr. Ono: OHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO
*no it wouldn’t actually be “Ono-san” it would be “Ono-kach\u014d” but that means nothing to Americans
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