for most of my life I’ve had this script in my head for a skit that would only make sense on SNL in like 1987, like

INT. - JAPANESE FACTORY - DAY

Two WORKERS look offscreen at a horrible haywire accident

Worker 1: oh no!

Worker 2: oh NO!

Worker 1: [pointing off] oh no, Mr. Ono*!

CUT TO:

INT. - FACTORY HALLWAY - CONT.

An older man wearing a supervisor’s outfit, MR. ONO, shuffles cheerfully down a long hall

Mr. Ono: [now he’s a quarter of the way down the hall]

Mr. Ono: [now it’s halfway]

Mr. Ono: [by this point the elder figure is three-quarters of the way there]

INT. - JAPANESE FACTORY - CONT.

Mr. Ono cheerfully walks through the door, then follows the workers’ gaze to the accident. His face falls.

Mr. Ono: OHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO

*no it wouldn’t actually be “Ono-san” it would be “Ono-kachō” but that means nothing to Americans