{"version": "1.0", "type": "rich", "title": "Gods I love OSP.", "author_name": "kontextmaschine", "author_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "provider_name": "kontextmaschine", "provider_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "url": "https://kontextmaschine.com/post/633656177360846848/", "html": "<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/dagny-hashtaggart-deactivated20/633652967410696192\" target=\"_blank\">dagny-hashtaggart-deactivated20</a>:</p><blockquote><p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/lovecrafts-iranon/633652347144454144\" target=\"_blank\">lovecrafts-iranon</a>:</p><blockquote><p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/dagny-hashtaggart-deactivated20/633651968511033344\" target=\"_blank\">dagny-hashtaggart-deactivated20</a>:</p><blockquote><p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"https://jiskblr.tumblr.com/post/633439774948065280/additionally-the-one-who-is-a-sworn-virgin-is\" target=\"_blank\">jiskblr</a>:</p><blockquote><p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"https://irregularjohnnywiggins.tumblr.com/post/188129644317/gods-i-love-osp\" target=\"_blank\">irregularjohnnywiggins</a>:</p><blockquote><p>Gods I love OSP.</p><div class=\"npf_row\"><figure class=\"tmblr-full\" data-orig-height=\"2489\" data-orig-width=\"810\"><img src=\"/media/89e60b695379c6be5c51df6aa868c05ef0987e3d_d6a561c88da6.jpg\" data-orig-height=\"2489\" data-orig-width=\"810\" srcset=\"/media/66745700f9e5f0c9fe67578d94538658c96e7800_9927b6a6b7ad.jpg 75w, /media/9ff6161502dfe833f12f04e3bfc4371f138f7c0d_f72950ecbb1d.jpg 65w, /media/d3c6b8817bae0ff18b10c2c5fb16a0fc9e2376ea_ab50060c431f.jpg 130w, /media/f5ee2f6449b4d9925c90d9c21eae3b01f7694f09_01f987de96d2.jpg 195w, /media/5af18541319b3972a6dfdb339435e7addbbe8c34_21ceb975c09d.jpg 244w, /media/29ea2c2b32a7b10af3434126c2cb8283706607fe_5c73ad421eff.jpg 264w, /media/89e60b695379c6be5c51df6aa868c05ef0987e3d_d6a561c88da6.jpg 312w, /media/9a5ab35645abb3e804597acb1a01ac4b6736836f_2e889fabacae.jpg 625w, /media/f92282a49bdf31f530ea14a77d263c21a54f783d_0c676ae7710e.jpg 810w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 810px) 100vw, 810px\"/></figure></div></blockquote><p>Additionally, the one who is a sworn virgin is also a goddess of war, and could fuck you up if you tried to kill her. (Even if you were a god, which he was not, unless you were Ares or King Zeus Himself, which he was <i>definitely</i> not.)</p></blockquote><p>If the Iliad is anything to go by, I wouldn\u2019t even give Ares good odds. Athena fucked him up pretty badly.</p></blockquote><p>So what\u2019s the most tactical answer? I\u2019m thinking fuck hera, marry athena, kill aphrodite.</p></blockquote><p>Honestly, I don\u2019t think there\u2019s any answer that doesn\u2019t get you straight-up murdered by at least one of Zeus and Athena, so I figure you might as well go completely balls-out and marry Hera. Follow up by telling Athena that she has to call you \u201cpop\u201d from now on. Might as well go down memeing.</p></blockquote>\n<p>I mean from the pagan sensibility <i>present</i> the obvious response is &ldquo;blowjob contest&rdquo; so question is what was holding that back <i>then</i></p>", "thumbnail_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com/media/89e60b695379c6be5c51df6aa868c05ef0987e3d_d6a561c88da6.jpg", "thumbnail_width": 312, "thumbnail_height": 960}