About the InCel/Widow post: Um Himmels Willen! That is such an unhealthy situation. I'm surprised that you aren't at least voicing some pointer. As an ex-InCel to that person: "Stop everything there and disengage, your gut is right, disengage, work on yourself instead. Look for positive embodiments of masculinity, discussions about what is/isn't fatherhood will prob. give good pointers, then go out on own terms"