So, I’d suspected that some of the crazy symptoms were flaring up the day after I got drunk, so now that they’d disappeared for a while I tried getting drunk last night (I’m sure those of you who were following my posting aren’t surprised). Nothing today, so really seems to be done.
Feels very smooth, think this is baseline. Judging by history should be a few months before I get another up state, but then I think I just had either two in a row or maybe some sort of final resolution of the whole mood/personality dynamic, we’ll see
Some things seem to have receded. With the aid of caffeine, I can become angry and mean again in a way I didn’t even notice I had lost the ability to, and I’m also noticing the scope of chains of logic I can keep in my head is re-increasing.
Some things haven’t. I’m still bisexual and have significantly reduced anxiety, tho not so far I can’t worry if I try. I’m still noticeably disinhibited \u2013 I used to be blunt and outre, but I now think that was a strategy to break through significant inhibition and I realized I was doing it. Now I have breezy friendly chats and days later look back and realize I was casually invoking their deepest issues in the course of propositioning them. Some of them were with you guys, that’s what this was about. Not sure if that’s receding or if I just remodeled my id to handle it better.
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