{"version": "1.0", "type": "rich", "title": "Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat", "author_name": "kontextmaschine", "author_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "provider_name": "kontextmaschine", "provider_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "url": "https://kontextmaschine.com/post/622647717598019584/", "html": "

blueandbluer:

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pulltheotheroneithasbellson:

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kariachi:

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mrtacomam:

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defilerwyrm:

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thatickything:

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seasonoftowers:

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equalistmako:

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disgruntledturtle:

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Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat

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\u201cWhy hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical\u2026 FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT\u2019S LEG DAY AND WE\u2019RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D.\u201d

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Because they\u2019re always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens - aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.

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well you did ask

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Also there\u2019s wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat.

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you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN

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Well yeah, you gotta get this shit right or it\u2019s a waste of 40-80 lbs of meat.

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plus if you feed them a high fat, low nutrition diet, they\u2019re easier to subdue and less likely to run away, which would be a concern for an elderly crone.

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Thank you, Old Witch With Candy House side of tumblr.

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