Not sure how to distinguish between “this particular thing is not my thing” and “the phase is wearing off and I’m straighter again”

Also, as someone who since puberty was an introvert who didn’t even get close to fit until the late-20s dojo, who was female-oriented and tbh resented those more successful than them and saw male sexuality as rival, I realize I’ve already thoroughly negatively encoded it.

Like, a shirtless guy with cut abs exuding sexual confidence and I’m just “Christ, look at this douchebag”

Like, some of you that seem happy to “have me on your team” should consider I might never bring guys into my sex life, even if this keeps up. Like, a 2-6 day window of interest that shows up unpredictably every few months isn’t something to build a life around, and even during that time when I’m also unexpectedly good at seduction I’m still attracted to women, which I have decades of ideas and experience built up around PLUS whatever insight I’m extracting here.