Feelin’ out-of-sorts lately; sure that’s not unique, not sure I have anything productive to add about it

Where younger it was some shounen-ass “I’ll use my knowledge of what came before to help keep us on the right path!” recently I’m “yeah I guess I can think of a situation that somewhat resembles where the winds of fate and chaos blow us on any given day”, but no one asked and I don’t see much gain in volunteering

I guess a nice thing is I am relieved of any guilt re: my laziness or Hamletish dithering, though I was never as as bothered as some of the insult anons pecking at me; there is nothing I could have done with my life to put myself in a solid and durable position thereby, if there’s anything to put me in a solid position going forward it’s not clear to invest in even now, trying to nurture some green shoot of an enterprise before this wouldve been a fool’s errand

Even before the virus, the people I’ve known beavering away at law, media, medicine, academia, (normiedom, hetero-bougie marriage), all of them made the sacrifices the earlier generations demanded but lately had been soft-pedaled, none of them met the material or psychic rewards promised.

It was all dead-ending and let’s hope this allows a shakeup to something new and not a few grey porridge postwar UK decades