also me: Hey, so I hear you decided to get into Jennette McCurdy?
me: Yeah, I thought it might be healthy to have a celebrity I had zero Discourse investment in beyond wanting to fuck. That’s why I have steadfastly avoided learning anything about her as an actual person.

also me: You read she was talking about having an eating disorder.
me: Oh, I grew up in the 90s, I expect every famous girl to have an eating disorder, that means nothing.
also me: But it makes sense though, you can see in the pictures she’s got a reasonable amount of subcutaneous “baby” fat.
me: Like a little otter! A sexy little otter.
also me: And if your appearance is in the public eye, and there’s the stress of that, and advancing your career past “child star” will require sex appeal, and you try to stay fit but you look in the mirror and your features are still soft and rounded, and then you go into work every day and compare yourself to Literally Ariana Grande…
me: Ok, I can see that.
also me: And you’ve worked with DisneyLodeon casting, you know baby fat is actually a plus for youth actors, it helps you play younger than your age. So given that we have a system where young actresses are selected first for displaying immaturity and then immediately afterwards fuckability, is it better or worse that there’s a period in between where we select for both?
me: Heyyy, this is starting to sound like Discourse. I’m not gonna let you ruin this.
also me: …also if her thing is “soft and shapeable flesh”, when you look at photos consider that her tits and ass might not look as nice naked.
me: godDAMMIT