{"version": "1.0", "type": "rich", "title": "Muscular Christianity", "author_name": "kontextmaschine", "author_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "provider_name": "kontextmaschine", "provider_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "url": "https://kontextmaschine.com/post/49227143491/", "html": "

Muscular Christianity is alive and well in our own town.

I was at a pinball tournament at the Belmont Inn, saw a guy complaining to a friend at a table about his marriage, which seems like a very traditional bar thing to do but I realize I’d never actually remembered seeing before.

The friend had that facial hair halfway between soul patch and goatee that I’d heard described as “the international symbol for ‘youth pastor’”, but that was always a secondhand experience to me so it was kind of a shock when his advice segued into a comparison to the awesome power and sacrifice of Jesus Christ. I guess youth pastors grow up with their youth and they’re “emergent church” pastors now all doing their church planting.

Not sure if the pastor was with Mars Hill but I wouldn’t be shocked - Mars Hill’s this big Seattle-based church - chain? franchise? I don’t know the terminology - that planted its first Portland branch 3 blocks from the bar.

I don’t really know the specifics of their theology - an atheist from a Catholic background (of the “Irish branch of mainstream Protestantism” type) their professed doctrine reads to me as generic Protestantism, though I’ve picked up enough to recognize that “substitutionary sacrifice”, say, is a specific thing, though I couldn’t tell you what it is or what it means for us. The rest of their website talks about doing everything for Jesus, but in a vague and nonspecific way, which is pretty much how that pastor sounded.

(interestingly, if you look around online, a lot of their critics from within enthusiastic Christianity complain of their elevating an extensive doctrine at the expense of Jesus-focus)

But their social praxis seems to be pure sexual complementarianism - men should be men, bold and strong and true, and Jesus (a carpenter and rebel, after all) should be understood as a model of masculinity, not a “Richard Simmons, hippie, queer Christ… a neutered and limp-wristed popular Sky Fairy.” Women should be women, gentle and caring and loyal. And together they should form families, each taking to their proper sphere.

I can’t find it on their website now, but I swear a month or two ago I saw, prominently linked from the first page, testimonials playing up the appeal of the church as a place to find worthy mates. And in both men and women’s testimonials, and more subtly, in the pictures of each testifyer, you could see the angle, a pitch to the educated urban 20-30s demographic that they can have both their of-the-moment playful hipster aesthetic AND the comfort of a well-worn way of life where all the questions have known answers.

Men - you want a cute, hip girl with indie rock glasses and hand-knit accessories AND a woman who will relentlessly support you and yield to your leadership? Women - you want a hot guy with full sleeve tattoos who plays guitar in a band but ISN’T a drifty flake who thinks of you as his girlfriend “for now”, as long as you offer more than the three girls on the back burner?

(And definitely men with women – in this complementarian understanding homosexuality is not only a sinful way of life - we’re all sinners after all - but perhaps more damningly an incompetent one)

And this is definitely how that pastor sounded - the man’s complaint seemed to be that his wife wanted more control in their relationship, but wasn’t in turn offering to bring anything more to the table, and the pastor’s advice seemed to come down to the fact that yes, this was a disordered situation, but one that had come about due to the man’s failure to exhibit strong leadership.

I dunno, maybe there is something to the idea that the twee indie aesthetic, cupcakes and yarn and '50s dresses is masking an unironic longing for a '50s way of life.

(And hell, glass house here, I’m developing an only half-joking taste for Norse paganism based largely on cosplay photos of beardy dudes working at anvils and girls with daggers and braids and mead horns standing around in nature.)

I wonder if those guys who go out dressed like pirates have their own religion. I saw a bunch of them hanging out in Director Park, like 2:30 on a Monday, maybe it was a prayer service.

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