Even if you accept the extratextual Christian mythology completely, Hell doesn’t sound that bad. Maybe it’s ‘cause I’m a masochist*, but you’re stuck in this fiery pit tortured by devils? Well, you know, take their pitchforks and torture them back. I mean, worst case scenario you lose and what’s the worst they can do then? Torture you? Kill you? Send you to hell?

I guess it wouldn’t really make sense that you could kill them either, but hey, an eternity of combat is some people’s idea of the good afterlife…

…wait. Eternal combat, in the most metal setting imaginable? Hell is Valhalla, as seen through wuss eyes. That makes perfect sense.

* Everyone always assumes that’s a sex thing. Pain and sex are like chocolate and peanut butter. Great together, but great on their own. Actually, none of the girls I’ve known to combine them were that good at it.