me: yeah, I guess the Dan Schneider foot stuff is a bit much

also me: come now, at least 1/8 the point of kids’ cartoons was to give gentle introductions to your newfound fetishes

me: maybe that’s the episodes people remember, it’s not like it’s all Totally Spies out there

also me: fair, the old stuff was just anthropomorphic animals tied up with rope and falling in quicksand

me: anyway that’s cartoons, live-action Nickelodeon feels different though

also me: back in your day you DEFINITELY had feelings about how Alex Mack could morph into a puddle of metal slime but she’d reform wet and naked