bought a bunch of liquor at once for my bar team’s yard party on my credit card (and used it for afterparty rounds at the bar) and Facebook mobile this week went from its occasional 4AM “hey, do you need a DUI lawyer?” ads to like straight-up after-action tonics and mail-in A/G liver function tests

I dunno it’s about as far off as when they decided I was a real estate investor for a few months but I do feel seen

man how fucking ridiculous does it sound that the internet used to be the escape from the Big Other