my mom, on the phone: oh and did you know, [X] is gay?

me: yeah dude we all knew that in elementary school

my mom: but his mom says he just came out last week

me: ::remembers in 2nd grade when we went on a field trip to the playhouse in the gay town for a performance of Free To Be… You And Me where he was a star swinging on a big swing flamboyantly singing about gender variance:: uh

me: ::remembers in fifth grade when he was skipping around the classroom singing showtunes with the girl with the body, personality, and vibrato of an opera diva:: uhh