\n\n\n\nI know some super-edgy far-leftists who are kind of assholes online but are the sweetest people in person. In person they\u2019re willing to show more compassion, discuss more nuanced details, and express more uncertainty\u2013while online, they easily get pulled into macho woker-than-thou posturing. I imagine a lot of the people responsible for Bad SJ Discourse are kind of like that.
\n\nA lot of internet people who are jerks and upset me are probably people I\u2019d like if I talked with them in person. This does NOT justify this sort of online behavior. But thinking about it this way helps me find it less upsetting.
\n\nSometimes the person is an asshole whose real self comes out only online. But some people are also really nice, and their real self gets masked online. And of course, in some ways, the in-person self and the online self are both the real self (as well as a masked self)\u2013and it is an entity whose quality is very mixed.
\nI\u2019m in no way trying to \u201cAll ____ do this\u201d but this but I\u2019ve noticed this is prevalent in most internet groups
I can\u2019t think of a single community that isn\u2019t more aggressive, mean, direct, quick to misunderstand someone\u2019s point or assume someone\u2019s acting in bad faith, and excessively captivated over minute details/differences anyone outside of the community would never notice. Leftism, cosplay, certain stuff in the black community, LGBT discourse, the tiny classmates-only forum for the first college I went to, hell even the short period I was interested in metal detectors (which, if anyone\u2019s curious, is pretty much all 40-something dads), every single one has a loudly combative, snarky, and ugly internet presence. Yet in every single one of the communities I mentioned, the people were pleasant, unique, compassionate, and cool in real life.\u00a0
\n\nI definitely agree that putting upsetting arguments in the context of \u201cit\u2019s only escalating like this because it\u2019s the internet\u201d is helpful, but I\u2019m often worried about the people who spend more of their time on the internet than they do real life. From experience, I know dredging yourself in the drama online forces an uncontrollable insecurity when you go outside, so to speak (ask me how my teen years on 4chan impacted my uneasiness around men to this day, ha). For those who don\u2019t have a broader frame of reference, the aggression, the lack of nuance, the hard-line stances can seem expected, if not a requirement. Everybody who doesn\u2019t line up with my take on this issue or isn\u2019t educated on it supports evil
\u201cSuper-edgy _______ who are kind of assholes online but are the sweetest people in person\u201d are (probably) everywhere, because I imagine the internet is the best place for most people to find others who are just as passionate as they are about their special interests.\u00a0\n\nThe worst case example I can think of is the recent white supremacist who, prior to seeking out and shooting a black man, spent time on sites/videos that centered on black on white crime and miscegenation which undoubtedly emboldened him to act.\n\n
Something thats stuck with me for a LONG time, testimony of advice from one kinda ratline I forget if it was the American \u201cUnderground Railroad\u201d or some Low Countries Jew-hiding thing in WWII or maybe the Resistance evacuating bailed-out Allied pilots
And it was that if you had to risk seeking shelter in an area where you didn\u2019t have a safehouse, don\u2019t go for the prominent figure of mercy and instead try the evil witch/off-my-lawn grump at the edge of town, cause the first type are really people who play to community sentiment and the second are really people who zealously reserve the right to make their own judgements
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