zoobus:

onecornerface:

I know some super-edgy far-leftists who are kind of assholes online but are the sweetest people in person. In person they’re willing to show more compassion, discuss more nuanced details, and express more uncertainty–while online, they easily get pulled into macho woker-than-thou posturing. I imagine a lot of the people responsible for Bad SJ Discourse are kind of like that.

A lot of internet people who are jerks and upset me are probably people I’d like if I talked with them in person. This does NOT justify this sort of online behavior. But thinking about it this way helps me find it less upsetting.

Sometimes the person is an asshole whose real self comes out only online. But some people are also really nice, and their real self gets masked online. And of course, in some ways, the in-person self and the online self are both the real self (as well as a masked self)–and it is an entity whose quality is very mixed.

I’m in no way trying to “All ____ do this” but this but I’ve noticed this is prevalent in most internet groups

I can’t think of a single community that isn’t more aggressive, mean, direct, quick to misunderstand someone’s point or assume someone’s acting in bad faith, and excessively captivated over minute details/differences anyone outside of the community would never notice. Leftism, cosplay, certain stuff in the black community, LGBT discourse, the tiny classmates-only forum for the first college I went to, hell even the short period I was interested in metal detectors (which, if anyone’s curious, is pretty much all 40-something dads), every single one has a loudly combative, snarky, and ugly internet presence. Yet in every single one of the communities I mentioned, the people were pleasant, unique, compassionate, and cool in real life. 

I definitely agree that putting upsetting arguments in the context of “it’s only escalating like this because it’s the internet” is helpful, but I’m often worried about the people who spend more of their time on the internet than they do real life. From experience, I know dredging yourself in the drama online forces an uncontrollable insecurity when you go outside, so to speak (ask me how my teen years on 4chan impacted my uneasiness around men to this day, ha). For those who don’t have a broader frame of reference, the aggression, the lack of nuance, the hard-line stances can seem expected, if not a requirement. Everybody who doesn’t line up with my take on this issue or isn’t educated on it supports evil

“Super-edgy _______ who are kind of assholes online but are the sweetest people in person” are (probably) everywhere, because I imagine the internet is the best place for most people to find others who are just as passionate as they are about their special interests.  The worst case example I can think of is the recent white supremacist who, prior to seeking out and shooting a black man, spent time on sites/videos that centered on black on white crime and miscegenation which undoubtedly emboldened him to act.

Something thats stuck with me for a LONG time, testimony of advice from one kinda ratline I forget if it was the American “Underground Railroad” or some Low Countries Jew-hiding thing in WWII or maybe the Resistance evacuating bailed-out Allied pilots

And it was that if you had to risk seeking shelter in an area where you didn’t have a safehouse, don’t go for the prominent figure of mercy and instead try the evil witch/off-my-lawn grump at the edge of town, cause the first type are really people who play to community sentiment and the second are really people who zealously reserve the right to make their own judgements