{"version": "1.0", "type": "rich", "title": "Let\u2019s all give it up to the real mvp of historical or historical fantasy gay romances: the unspecified but ever present\u00a0\u201cvial of...", "author_name": "kontextmaschine", "author_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "provider_name": "kontextmaschine", "provider_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "url": "https://kontextmaschine.com/post/184451095973/", "html": "

fnord888:

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earlgraytay:

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andhumanslovedstories:

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Let\u2019s all give it up to the real mvp of historical or historical fantasy gay romances: the unspecified but ever present\u00a0\u201cvial of oil.\u201d What oil? Which oil is it? Why is it always so available? Two men have confessed their feelings and kissed for the first time in a quiet solarium, and now they are progressing directly to anal sex, and one asks, \u201cDo you have oil?\u201d and the other says, \u201cYes, here,\u201d and I say, how and why and what is it you were anticipating doing in this quiet solarium? Now we are in the throne hall of a medieval castle and it is time for impromptu throne sex. And one guy is always like \u201cdon\u2019t worry I got this\u201d and pulls out ye olde KY jelly from his pantaloons, and it\u2019s like I understand that past society had slick substances they used to facilitate sex but I apparently underestimated how immediately on hand it would be. Sometimes in their lustful fumbles in the dark, one of them happens to find a conveniently placed and absolutely unnamed vial of oil on like a random shelf. How do these men instantly know that it\u2019s fine to put it in your butt? Do they know or do they simply not care? Do they think there is no option but anal? Should I tell them? But they\u2019re having such a good time.

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I read a fic once where a character said\u00a0\u201colive oil\u201d and I felt so instantly grateful just to know the answer to a question I\u2019d never previously asked, but unfortunately since that fic and the curiosity it provoked in me, I have known no peace.\u00a0

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In news that is completely irrelevant to this post, Mormon men are supposed to carry a small vial of consecrated oil on them at all times in case they need to give a blessing.\u00a0\u00a0

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In a world where darkness was illuminated with fire and not electricity people had more oil on hand than a modern might expect

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